I'll Give It To You Straight

So fortunately for me, EXACTLY seven of you felt sorry, compelled, obligated, interested, guilty or something like that for me. You actually asked a question! Wow! I feel so loved. . .or not. I'm not sure which one but I am answering ALL the questions you asked me because I like you. NO, don't feel guilty because you can't return that sentiment. I'll only cry until I dehydrate from tears. I should be back to normal in a few days. OH, thanks! Insult me when I'm feeling down. I know that I have NEVER been normal so don't rub it in. *Sigh!. . . There is always hope isn't there? I'm completely lost now. Where was I? Oh yes, I am answering questions from my dear friends/lurkers/family and such. Here they are. If they are dumb, it's only your fault because you asked them. If you didn't ask them, it's your fault because YOU had the opportunity to ask anything about me and you DIDN'T! No, I'm not bitter. Let's not lollygag. Here we go:


Alice (my favorite sox partner ever) asked: "If you had to pick a character from a book for a one night stand, who would it be and why?
I would have to go with Pinocchio. . . . OK, I'm kidding. I would really be different here and go with Edward from Twilight. There is just something intriguing about being with a vampire isn't there? And he never ages so a 17 year old would be a new twist. Ewwww! That whole thought actually creeped me out. I'll stick with Pinocchio.

Jen asked: "Do you have any pet peeves or grammar peeves?" My very biggest pet peeve is when he lifts his leg and pees on everything. . . . OH, I gotcha. Personally, I have a REALLY hard time with people being LATE. It annoys me BAD. As for grammar peeves, I have such bad grammar that I am probably annoying a lot of people with my bad grammar and writing. For that I can only say "So sorry!"

Trooper Thorn asked: "If you could give the power of speech to only one animal species, which one do you think would have anything interesting to say?" Oh, no doubt dogs would have some great tales to tell. I would ask them why man is their best friend and not woman. Oh, there is a list of things I would ask dogs but this is a rated PG-(sometimes 13) program I'm running here so I'll leave that one alone! You can come up with your own "Dog Dialogue".

P.J asked: "If you were to open your front door and go ANYWHERE your heart desired. Where the heck would you go?" I would HOPE to not go to heck that's for sure! But I would love to go to. . . Oh man, so many places I have dreamed about and I need to pick one. I have always wanted to go somewhere cool like Italy, France or Australia but I think that I would LOVE to first go to Nigeria and meet the amazing people my parents fell in love with while serving a mission there. (now that was a run on sentence for you:)

Lola (sister & neighbor) asked: "Did you eat my chocolate?" Come on now Lola. . . . .
You KNOW I ate your chocolate. I always eat all the chocolate. First I rummage through every drawer in my house searching for that last chocolate chip. When they are gone, it's over to your house baby! You may want to lock it up in the medicine cabinet. I'm a chocolate druggie and when I say I have to use your bathroom because my toilet is um, clogged I'm really EATING YOUR CHOCOLATE. You thought those brown smears in the bathroom were something else didn't you! I'm good at disguising these things.

Kathi asked: "How many sisters & brothers do you have and where are you in the birth order?"
Awesome! This is one that I don't have to think about. I have two sisters and two brothers. There are 5 of us total. (Like you hadn't figured that out!) I am the second child, the middle daughter, and the 2 boys bring up the rear. (So fitting for boys to bring up the rear:)

Hellesbelles asked: "What's the deal with Peanut M & M's up your nose?" I'm telling you that you haven't lived until your face has been plastered in the local newspaper on your 30th Birthday with green M & M's up your nose. Yeah it's true! I am somewhat famous for that now and have even tried to add to my food/face stunts by stuffing Oreos in my eye sockets. I guess being poor, I've had to look to food as more than something to eat. It has to be entertainment too. Besides, M & M's up your nose adds a nice little salty flavor. YUM!

I'm so nice that I answered a few bonus questions for you.

"Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?" Uh, hello! It's in Carmen, San Diego silly!

"How much wood would a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck would?" About 700 pounds. Ah ha! You are impressed huh? Don't believe me? Well look here. I may (or may not) have cheated a bit.

Addendum:

I just got another question!! Oh yeah it's true! Jean Knee asked: "Do you like the word crap? How about Wanker?" As for crap, I use that in nearly 1/3 of all sentences that come out of my mouth. Hmmm Wanker? Now that sounds like a nice word doesn't it? I would have to say I haven't used that one but it has a nice ring to it:) I may have to add that to my limited vocab!

Thanks for playing along!