Friday, May 30, 2008

It Was A Crappy Way To Start My Day

Is this why they call it the dog days of Summer?

I didn't have my child do this today but I did end up with dog poop on my carpet. It was in a "S" shaped, long trail of ball poops right to my bedside. I guess I had it coming because Beaux (our dog) has been eating really random things. He seems to eat everything BUT dog food these days. I have found him chewing toilet paper (his fav) or tinfoil (go figure?) and most anything he can get his little teeth into. He's like my walking dumpster. . . well, more like shredder as he eats part of whatever it is and shreds the rest across the room.

This was all fun and games until he became constipated. It was a bit sad (yet comical) to watch Beaux in his "got to poo" stance for 10-15 minutes at a time. It was all to no avail! I couldn't let this go on all day. . or could I? So I read online that if you give them milk it will help loosen things up and so I did. I had to throw in some cereal to get him to touch it though. Last night I remembered that wet dog food seemed to give him the cha- chas and so I gave him some of that.

I guess I overloaded his system and he so kindly unloaded on my floor. . . Guess I had that coming.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Who Really Got This Stuff Anyway?

I think this answer is brilliant! Wish I had thought of that instead of spending hours trying to REALLY find X during an exam. And who really cares where X is? I didn't then and I still don't! I'm a college graduate in Accounting and I have yet the need to find X! Go figure:). . . . Oh, just a figure of speech. You don't really have to go figure.

I love the creativity of some people. I think Peter should have got 100% on this one given that it was so vague. Who knew they wanted a different expansion! I still hate all that stuff, even though my whole background is math. IT'S the EASY stuff I do! I think Peter didn't do well in this class, what do you think?

This last one is hard to see but I remember feeling this way so many times during an exam where one little problem turned into a HUGE ordeal to solve. Is there a point to this madness or do they really want you to consider suicide by the end of the page? I often wondered that myself.

School for my kids is officially over tomorrow. YIPEE! Wait. . . did I just say that? OK, it all sounds good and fun right now but ask me next week. Ask me when all of my bright ideas for putting them to work to get organized fail. Ask me when they have been in my face all day long every day without a break. Then ask me after I have had to break up 5 fights, clean up a BIGGER mess now that they are home more and ask me when they have eaten everything I bought at the grocery store in one day. Ask me then. . . tomorrow.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Waiting To Exhale. . .Ready To Let My Hair Down!


Are you completely shocked that I posted? You missed me didn't you? Oh, don't try to deny it. I know you and I could just hear you saying "When is that darn Diana going to get off her butt & post a new/lame post? I seriously haven't had my fix of lame reads this week! Where is she?"

Well, I would like to say that I was on some really cool and relaxing vacation or that I was shopping like a mad woman and treating myself to every luxury a woman could want. Truth be told, I was REALLY BUSY! OH, not that fun kind of busy either! It was work kind of busy and not anything blog worthy to write about and so I spared you the additional suffering. Only because I'm nice like that. Oh, don't cry for me Argentina because I lived through it.

What was I busy with you ask? Why thanks for pretending to care! You really do don't you? OK, then I will tell you. Between working like crazy at our floral in preparation for all the mass Memorial Day flowers, I had to watch the final of American Idol. . . That took a bit out of my life. And then I had to finish my shopping and send off my sox for the exchange put on by the one and only Smiling Infidel. And of course, I had to throw "Mom duties" in there somewhere! All in all, I am feeling like it's about time to let my hair down!

The big Floral holidays are officially over until Winter and with taxes behind us for the year, I just feel like FINALLY doing a happy dance. What's that you say? You want to see such a dance? OH, no you don't want to see that! You would be deeply scarred for life. You have never seen things jiggle so much and look so darn stupid at the same time. It's disturbing.

IN UPDATES: (because I know you are dying to know what is happening in my life)

My fabulous parents (well I hope they are still fab:) have only a little over a week before leaving their 22 month mission in Liberia, Africa to come home to us!! Let's all shout it "YIPEE!" . . . Thanks! I can hardly wait to see them! I have missed them dearly.

My hubby (Bob) and his knife business aren't really doing much. He has sold probably 20 knives and that leaves us with a family room stocked with a mere 280 now! WOW! He is kicking butt on this venture! NOT! Let's not discuss it further, it's a sore spot with us right now and he has to keep the knives out of my reach or else!. . . Oh, you didn't think I was serious did you? Now if anything happens to poor Bob, I had absolutely NOTHING to do with it! hee hee! I'm JOKING people!

Remember my burn? After 10 days of hobbling around with much pain and it only getting worse, I finally gave in and went to the doc. He said it was a bit infected and took care of that (OUCH) and then gave me some Silvadene to put on it. It worked great the first day and now it is really infected! YIKES! I would seriously post a picture because I am gross like that but my daughter Kitty told me that it almost made her throw up. I'm not about inducing such behaviors and want you to keep your breakfast/lunch/dinner down, whatever it may be! Just know, it's gross. Needless to say I will be giving away all my Daisy Duke shorts and swimsuits as I will have a nasty scar glaring off my leg for all to see. OH, and don't ask to have my hand-me-down shorts because I was only kidding people! I don't own any:D

The moral of the burn story is don't do anything nice for anyone else. It will save you MUCH pain! haha! You have heard that "No good deed goes unpunished" haven't you? Like I said. Keep the charitable stuff to yourself! OK, don't! It's still worth the pain:)


Monday, May 19, 2008

Look! I Scored Me A Choir Boy!

You know how there are certain things in life that are near and dear to your heart and you try to persuade your kids to feel the same way? (sometimes with force! hee hee) Well, that has been me with singing. I have always loved to sing. (mostly in my car) But I was in a choir group in High School and we performed all over and I loved it. From then on I have been hooked! (kind of like hooked on phonics but not:)

I realize that you can't make your kids be exactly what you were or force them to love and be involved in what you were. But it sure is a nice treat when they decide that it's a good thing on their own! Right here is evidence as to why Mom is glowing at the present time.

Nope, mine isn't the girly ones sitting there but is my handsome (and might I add talented singer) Al-Pal ! I really hadn't thought of my Al-Pal as the choir boy type and not even the singing type for that matter. You see, he is VERY shy and a bit more so than any of my kids. My oldest two had not expressed much interest in singing and so why would he.

BUT (and yes I have a big butt, thanks for reminding me) my amazingly talented cousin Leslie, who is also a Mormon Tabernacle Choir member, offered to let her sweet cousins join her choir.

Here we are ( me, Bob & Ty-Ty) at the choir concert Saturday.(Notice that my two oldest aren't there) Boy was I shocked and amazed when those kids opened their mouths to sing! They were really great! My cousin can work miracles it seems:)

Also in the choir were my sister Lola's two daughters and some other cousins of ours. I could hardly believe my eyes when I looked over at Al Pal and he was not just mouthing the words but full on singing with expression on his face and everything! What did she do with my boy? He was darling and animated and like he had transformed into something I have never seen!

Needless to say, he loves choir and can't wait until they begin practice again in the fall. I've scored me a choir boy! I've got a singer! Yipee!!

Unfortunately, Ty-Ty didn't find the choir to be all that exciting and we snapped this pic just as it ended. The funny thing is that he RARELY takes naps! It's just not his thing. . . until you completely bore him to sleep. Something tells me that he probably won't be a choir boy!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Why Do I Always. . . .

* Plan to start a diet every Monday, only to have failed shortly after Breakfast. At which point I can't start a diet mid-day or mid-week and so I figure I have to wait again until the next Monday? (story of my life)

* Arrive home from work on Saturday and assume that my hubby and kids will have the house looking somewhat clean?

* Wait to buy clothing for myself until I lose that extra 10 pounds? (still don't have any clothes)

* Write a huge list of "things to do" each day which is way more than any human can possibly get done and then get mad at myself when I've only checked off part of the list.?

* Think that my husband will notice my hair cut or color?

* Put off grocery shopping until there are mere crumbs in the house to eat?

* Eat too much and then tell myself and everyone around NOT to let me do that again, only to turn right around and snork down another big meal?

* Cut my hair off, grow it out, cut my hair off, grow it out. . . .?

* Face my dollar bills in my wallet?

* Scratch my head like crazy when I'm stressed?

* Feel the need to giggle continually when I'm in some quiet place?

* Think I'm going to start drinking water, only to begin and end my day with Diet Coke only? (plus the 10 I drink in between)

* Forget whether I have taken ibuprofen & ask around only to be informed that I took some 2 minutes ago and that is why the bottle is in my hand?

* Call my kids by the wrong name every time?

* Have to be the Mom to my kids? . . . Oh wait. . . I am the Mom:)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Did I Mention I Have TWO Creative Sisters?

It's true! I have two sisters and I'm the sandwich sister. My older sis is Angel and my younger sister is Lola. They are like the creative, fancy bookends to a boring book in the middle! ( I think it's like an accounting book. . . yep, boring!) I have previously displayed some of the cool gifts I have acquired from Lola and today I'm showing off this fab piece of jewelry that Angel made for me. It's a highly coveted piece and everyone at Church was clawing to get at it! You should have witnessed the horror of it all!

Actually, the horror was really when a large spider crawled across the room and freaked MANY women out. It came over by me and you know what I did? I got the heal of my shoe and right in the middle of singing "All Creatures Of Our God & King", I squashed that spider as everyone looked on. (we weren't really singing that at the time, but it sounds funnier that way so I felt compelled to lie) Anyway, back to the jewelry. There is no doubt that the women wanted it! This bracelet has darling charms adorning it & there is even an Angel on one end in memory of Colton, Angel's son. Don't you just love it? I do!

Unfortunately (or fortunate for me) she will not be selling these beauties because they would cost a million dollars!. . .OK, maybe only a thousand or something. I know she spent a lot on the charms and since she loves me so much I'm sure it was close to a thousand at least! Well, we can pretend anyway, but they still are too expensive to sell so I feel privileged to have a possible "one of a kind" from Angel.

Sorry, I'm not a good hand model but life is hard like that! BUT stay tuned because one of these days I'm gonna shock you (and me both) with some crafty thing I have created! Oh, you had better believe it! I have to have a creative bone in this body somewhere! (I think it's my femur) I can't have a creative Mom & be sandwiched between two creative sisters without SOME of those juices rubbing off on me can I? Maybe those juices are just sweat and nothing creative. . . I guess we will find out!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Another Failed Attempt To Get That Summer Glow!

Can you identify the picture? It's just my searing flesh is all. It will be OK. Just give me a few hours to make the throbbing stop and I will pop those blisters.

If you are like me (which I'm sure you are not completely like me because there can't be this many freaks on the planet:) you like to have a little (or a lot) of color on your skin for the summer. I would preferably like tan to be that color but with my albino, florescent skin, I usually end up pink, red or sometimes purplish. Well, I will tell you right now that this method is NOT a good one for gaining a brownish tint to your skin.

Tonight I was doing a good deed for a family in need. (you like my nice poem there? It's all I have so anyway). OK, so the family wasn't really all that in need but they are moving and we all know what a pain that can be so I made dinner for them. Besides that, they are really good friends. Anyway, I decided to put a little EXTRA sweet & sour sauce in the chicken. This would have been all fine and dandy but I kind of forgot that it was quite full in the hot pan and I decided to hold it as my husband drove us to our friend's home. Well, Bob (hubby) hit a bump and I felt this terrible pain on my thigh. The hot molten lava sauce had spilled out about the size of a cantaloupe on my leg. Bob happened to be on his cellphone at the time talking to his Dad and he didn't seem to skip a word or miss a breath in his conversation, even though I was literally screaming out in pain. He was kind enough to pull over to the side of the road. . . and finish his conversation. Wow! Thanks!

Needless to say, we turned the vehicle around and headed back home where I found my thigh looking like this. Cool trick huh? Actually, it wasn't cool but was very hot! What I thought was totally amazing was that I didn't swear once when this happened. . . maybe because Bob was on the phone. You can tell I'm not going to let him live this down too quickly!

Don't you worry, I managed to get dinner to the family and I also got online to find out how to treat this burn. Of course, that was after I put an ice pack on it and apparently that is NOT the thing to do for a second degree burn! Who knew? Not me!

Next time I am looking for something besides white on my skin, I think I'll just take a simple sunburn. Those seem to hurt a lot less !

Thursday, May 8, 2008

A Little Trunky

This is my hubby Bob. See Bob's legs hanging out of the car trunk? I guess he resorted to the trunk since we don't have an available doghouse;) Actually, last night Bob was so kindly trying to help daughter Kitty get speakers in her car and she snapped this picture to make fun, laugh and loudly mock him. Now that's true love!

Happy 21st Anniversary Bob! although it has seemed like forever:) Kidding. May you find your way out of the trunk so we can celebrate many more!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Oh Yeah, I'm Watching My Weight Alright!

I keep having nightmares that my 4 pound dog (who sleeps with me) is going to end up somewhere like this! EEEEEKK!

Have you ever wanted to lose weight for Summer or for some special event and it seems like every day you have your usual NO willpower and no energy (and 100+ excuses) so you say to yourself "Self, I will FOR SURE start my diet and get my exercise groove on tomorrow". And then tomorrow comes and it's the same thing as the day before and this continues over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over. . .infinity! Well have you? Anyone?. . . Anyone?. . Bueller?. . Anyone?. . . . OK, so I'm alone on this one I take it.

Well that is the big story of my life and I have really got to get with the program the very day I decide something like this. It's now less than a month until my parents arrive back home, back in the good old USA from their 2 year mission in Africa and I am SO CRAZY EXCITED! Did I mention I was looking forward to it? Anyway, I have put on a few pounds since they left and I'm sure they will not recognize me with the additional pounds I have acquired in their absence. You know, I had to feed myself to not feel all empty and alone and stuff while they were gone. OK, that's my story regardless and I'm sticking to it.

As I thought about my lack of motivation and my now tight schedule, I remembered a time when I was actually good at losing some weight. I remembered that journal I kept for myself of points used and weight lost. At one time I decided to use the Weight Watchers point system and followed this diet faithfully. I pulled out that journal which has on the front of it :

Hey! I was into the Big Fat Losers long before TV came up with that idea! I'm so cool! And I'm sure original. . . I'll bet you all never thought of that. OK, it wasn't really me that came up with that and I think it was my Mom or Sisters. We tried the diet at the same time. Anyway, back to the story. I was amazed to look through the pages of meals and days and how good I recorded EVERYTHING I ate and I kept well within the 22 points I was allowed. I DID IT! So I thought "Oh Diana, this will be a P.O.C (Piece of Cake). You can do this again so easy!" On Monday I began this diet. So far I have consumed all my points through Saturday. .SIGH! . . it's not so easy right now and I'm struggling. I think I would sum it up right now as a P.O.C. (Piece of crap!) I'm hoping that by posting my downfalls and struggles and chubby ways that you will all motivate me to keep going "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. . . " Everyone sing along!

And If by chance I don't get my exercise groove on or if by chance I have consumed all my remaining month's points by next week I'll just say this. "Mom & Dad, Here I am! Yeah, I know I'm a bit chubs and you couldn't miss me because my body mass is in excess for my height (which is scary since I'm an Amazon) but I'm still YOUR Amazon! And there is just more of me to hug!"

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sewing Craftiness Not Required.

Now don't be confused by the title and the cool things you see in the pictures. YES, sewing is required to make them. . although maybe you could hot glue them? I don't know and am not going to try it. What I am trying to tell you is that I am NOT a sewer (I love that word:) or a seamstress or whatever you might call somebody that can create things with a sewing machine. BUT the really cool thing is that I have friends and family around me who ARE crafty sewers! hee hee! Thus I benefit greatly from their abilities! Woohoo! Just check out some of the goods I have scored. My Sister Lola sews a LOT and she also is my next door neighbor so I manage to get lots of good things she creates. I think she recognizes my loserishness and feels quite distraught and therefore doesn't want me to live a life of "Store bought goods only" stuff. So she so kindly surrenders her lovely goods to me. These cool things above are a life saver! Lola put this cute bag together one day when I was down in bed with one of my on and off killer headaches/jaw pain. I am an ice pack/heat dweller at these times and so she made her own with rice and buckwheat and stuff. And of course they are designer! Decorated to the hilt and with a cute carry bag. I love it and use it all often. (and don't forget the Symphony bar she put in the bag. . it of course is gone now:)

My Frister (friend that's more like a sister) made me this darling pillow above recently for my past 40 Birthday present. The pictures just don't do these things justice because I'm not only a loser in sewing but I can't take a good pic either:( *Sigh! Anyway, my Frister made this for me to put my feet on. When you get old like me you have to put your sagging ankles up a LOT. I love all of these comfort items I am accumulating don't you? Well, as it turns out I have to fight the kids and even worse, the dog for this cute pillow! EVERYONE wants their turn! I just say "GET AWAY LOSERS! IT'S MINE!" I'm nice aren't I!? It comes with old age:D

You may have seen a picture of this great purse on my Sister Lola's blog. She is a purse queen and she made me this darling purse recently. I get a lot of great comments from sporting this on my shoulder and have almost wanted to lie and take credit for the cuteness. . .but I resisted. Once again, I have to fight the dog with this one. For some reason it looks like a beautiful flower to him and he lifts his leg and pees on it! I'm telling you that I just get it washed and he does it again! What is up with him? Does he have a thing with home sewn goods? I may have to get rid of him. . . or NOT!

Lola also mentioned this skirt on her blog. I was the lucky recipient of this skirt! She says it's too small for her and that it would fit me. I didn't let her in on my secret to fitting things she can't. You see, I'm not any smaller than she is but I have a SUPER TIGHT body hugger that can make a person appear much more petite than they really are. OK, petite and Diana should NEVER be mentioned in the same sentence and to be truthful, they haven't. . at least yet! I just liked the sound of it for once. No, I haven't found the super body hugger undies yet but if anyone runs across them and they will make me look petite. . . I want them. . NOW!

Yep! It's that pesky dog again! He just takes over everything around this house like he owns it! Ooooh I'm gonna. . . .pick him up and squeeze his cute little body and grit my teeth because he is so darn cute:) I can't resist his cuteness and he gets away with murder at the house. I tried to lay out this quilt nicely to show you a picture of it but he just wouldn't have it. Anyway, this is one of two quilts made by Lola for my youngest boys. They go so great with their room and look darling on their beds. . . if they ever make their beds. I digress!

So that completes my tour today of the crafty stuff that other people have sewn for me. This isn't all that I have and when I have more energy I will venture downstairs to show you a great quilt I have on the wall that my Mother made me and my Sister quilted. I know you can hardly wait. . . but you'll have to. I need to get the dog off my stuff! I hope you have some crafty people in your lives! Do you? Do tell! I wanna know!