Sunday, June 13, 2010
A tight travel budget
All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.
To: All Employees
Subject: Business Travel Policy Guidelines
Date: June 12,2010
Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead.
If commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible.
Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on company business trips.
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives or friends while on company business. If this is not possible, then cost effective alternatives should be exploited.
Public areas such as parks and parking lots can be used during periods of good weather. In inclement weather, bridges may provide temporary shelter.
Expenditures for meals will be limited to the absolute minimum. It should be noted that grocery chains, such as "Sam's Club" and "Albertson's" stores often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can often be obtained in this manner.
Travelers should also become familiar with, and exploit the use of, indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destination. If restaurants must be utilized, travellers should seek establishments offering "all you can eat" salad bars. This will be especially valuable to employees travelling together, as a single plate can be used to feed one clever group.
Employees are also encouraged to bring their own food while on company business. Cans of tuna fish, Spam and Beef-a-roni can be conveniently consumed at your leisure, without the unnecessary bother of heating or other costly preparation.
Entertainment while on travel is discouraged. If such extravagances are required for business reasons, the customer should be encouraged to "pick up the tab". Such actions will save the company money and also convince the customer that we are concerned about "spending his money on providing a good product for him", not on useless overhead frivolities which can drive up our prices.
Hospitality provided to our customers at our facility shall be tasteful, yet cost-effective. In lieu of frivolous dinners, a picnic bench will be placed in the parking lot complete with garden hose for liquid refreshments.
All employees are encouraged to employ innovative techniques in our common effort to save corporate dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport "layover" periods which could be used to defray travel costs. In support of this idea, "Red Caps" will be issued to all employees prior to departure so that they may earn tips for helping other travellers with their luggage during such periods. Small plastic roses will also be made available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.
Actually I am glad my company isn't so tight and they even freaked a bit when I stayed in a La Quinta in the San Diego area next to a Gentleman's Club. How was I supposed to know it was there? I could have been saving them some money.....and making them some too! :)
It seems that I am traveling as much as three times a month now so I will keep you posted on my adventures in travel. Heaven knows that something funny, hateful or crazy happens each trip!
P.S. I may try the red cap trick or silk rose sales for spending money;)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
He has the pose down. We will only let him play with footballs at our house. No trucks, no rattles. You know, we don't want to distract his concentration on the sport yet....ever;)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Above is Alex and he was going to show us how to do this with great style and ease.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Christmas Eve is always a good time at my parent's house. We have the traditional smoked turkey, clam chowder and all sorts of yummy fattening goods! Once we are good and stuffed, the kids open a present of pajamas and are required to do a fashion show for all to see. Keisha was a loser and wouldn't do the catwalk but dang she is sporting those Hello Kitty jammies with great fashion.
Sarah, Ty and Jake posing for a picture while Jake and Sarah open their PJs. And NO I didn't force them to do that catwalk in theirs. Check out Beaux assisting Jake with his gift. I have never re-wrapped so many gifts in my life. He managed to unwrap about 9 presents to punish us while we were away. Crazy dog!
Christmas morning is always a treat since the kids rise at 5:30....yawn! It's tradition that I take a picture of them by their gifts before they can open them. They sure love that tradition! And they always look so darn excited for the shot too! The other tradition is that NOBODY can take a picture of mom on Christmas morning. Nope! Not having it! I don't want that stuff being passed around or worse yet, splashed all over the internets;)
Ty seems pretty enthused with his orange. Silly Santa actually wasted money and bought gifts! Duh! Beaux is licking his lips at the looks of that orange.
Alex makes a really lame Vanna. Just saying. I do have to give him an A for effort as he is more animated than all my other kids put together at Christmas.
That concludes our Christmas Eve and Christmas photo extravaganza. I took more but I am just plain pooped out! This working hard is kicking my butt! I seem to want to veg when I get home after a crazy day of whining employees;) No seriously, they are great (for the most part) and life is good....and going...super fast like! I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Here is Jake and Sarah (My DIL). He was putting his costume together minutes before the ward trunk or treat. And it probably was a good thing! Going around the neighborhood in his Lady Gaga get up may have been a bit freaky! (Fortunately I didn't get a close up with my phone since he is sporting girls size 14-16 tight black stretch pants:) Sarah is a witch.... and she is dressed up like one too. KIDDING PEOPLE!! I really like her!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I'm planning on leaving this behind. (I'm sure the paperwork mess will come along).
Monday, October 5, 2009
Fortunately, I found a toilet....really cheap! Unfortunately, I don't need one but I did get a good chuckle out of this ad!
i have this toilet for sale is nice and clean i take from a remodel in parck city from rich people no scraches is ligt cream color nice i have the zinc whith same color any cuestions callme no emails please se habla espanol
Seller Contact Info : Jesus
I had no idea the economy was so bad that Jesus is taking toilets from the rich and selling them to the poor....and claiming they are clean! What is this world (and heaven) coming to?
P.S. I didn't find anything to improve my home. If you would like more info. on the toilet just give me a jingle:)
P.S.S If you spell check your post and you have included some writings from Jesus, it will mostly come up yellow due to his lack of proper English and spelling.....I tried it.