Tuesday, April 22, 2008

What Will He Come Up With Next?

My hubby Bob (not even close to his real name. . but it makes me giggle) has always loved pocket knives. He happens to own many of them, even though he only carries one in his "pocket" at a time. I have always thought of it as like women with purses. He owns many, they are all a bit different looking and he trades them off from time to time. OK, that all has worked for me until. . . Dun, dun, dun! (Did you like that?)

He decided to buy MANY pocket knives. I guess he is planning on selling these knives, although he hasn't really got a plan on how this is going to take place yet. This week we have had boxes arriving daily with hundreds of knives of every kind in them. I have been afraid to ask the details, but I am assuming he has close to 300 knives as of today. Now I started to get a bit alarmed at this supposed crazy behavior he is displaying and then I thought "Di, I'll bet EVERY husband does this. I'm sure that ALL wives are embarrassed by their husband's knife obsession and surplus and they are just afraid to say it! I would imagine that their living rooms have been taken over by "the knife store" at some point in their lives too. And their child has probably come to them late at night with nightmares over somebody coming in and taking that big hunting knife and stabbing them. Just put your crazy worries to rest Di! Bob is just doing what every other guy does or has done!"

So after having that conversation with myself, I put my mind at ease! I know you are all probably nodding your heads and saying "I remember when my husband _____ did that!". I'm so glad we are all in this together because quite frankly, if we weren't, I would seriously consider having Bob checked out (or checked in, if you know what I mean!) Anyway, if you need a knife. . . I will sell you one, or two or many or give you a box full. I've got a living room full. Did I mention that? Did I mention there are hundreds of them? And that my 6 year old is the VERY proud owner of one of them? Did I mention that I may need to get myself checked out? OK, yeah, that is a good idea. . I will go. I'll get back to you on the knife store :/

Oh wait. . . in other kind of wacky news: I heard that they are going to take the Polygamist children and put them in temporary foster care. Of course, they are waiting for some DNA testing to come back so that they can separate them with their siblings as much as possible. What the heck? Aren't they all siblings? All 450 of them? haha! I'm thinking that somebody is going to have a difficult time being foster parents to 50 siblings. Doesn't really make a lot of sense to me at this point but what does? I think the knife obsession is starting to affect me too:)


kathi d said...

Oh yeah, Rick has hundreds of knives. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Neil said...

Di, didn't you used to wear your hair like that? What is with all the knives? His pocket can only hold one or two. Is he just getting an early start on Christmas shopping? Maybe he has an EBay obcession...could be worse!! MUM

Lynsey Lou knee deep in poo said...

your mom is right you could come home to a back yard of some wild animal for no reason or a bunch of cheap jewlry or glass eggs. Why doesnt he open a small store in side sweetbriar he could call it Knives by Bob I think it would do better than a fabric store. dont you think.

Ninja Scott said...

I have always wanted to order the 300 knives kit you can buy from the knife show on HSN or one of the other shopping channels.

I just hope he got the one with the 7 Samurai swords and 6 Rambo knives, and 200+ various other knives.

Jill said...

Hundreds of them?
My first thought was that he was going to sell them on eBay. Is he?
You could always eBay them when he's not looking.

Nancy Face said...

I have a collection of little wooden Victorian houses that are replicas of actual historical houses, with their histories and other info on the back. They are SOOO cute, and I have tons of them on display shelves...maybe even 100 of them! That's kinda like Bob's cute li'l knife collection, right? Maybe all he needs are some cute display shelves in the living room?

Or maybe he needs to be checked in, haha! ;)

Nancy Face said...

Your blog design is so cute! :)

Jean Knee said...

My husband__________ has only two knives.
maybe he's planning a knife party business like tupperware where all his men freinds will come over for chips and dip and then have to buy a knife.

I like the flowers


Maybe he's secretly plotting to join the circus as the knife throwing act.

If he asks you to dress up in fishnets and a showgirl outift and to stand against a giant moving wheel.....RUNNNNNNN!