Monday, April 28, 2008

OK, It's Time For A Little Self Mockery.

I kind of felt bad mocking my hubby Bob (yeah, still not his real name and I'm lying when I say I felt bad) about his knife obsession. . . or whatever it is. In fact, I really should start apologizing. You see, I forgot to mention that he works retail and has done so for 25+ years. Of course he knows how to sell a knife! He has come home every day with a big grin on his face and a stuffed wallet because he has sold knives that day. Bob said he feels a bit like a drug dealer (like how does he know how that feels!) because he takes people from work out to his vehicle to check out (and purchase) his knives. I won't completely stop mocking him though, because he still has several hundred to go before I have my living room back!

Today, I think I should let one of my dirty little secrets out of the bag. You see, I have a strong desire to be in great shape. OK, let me rephrase that. My mind has a strong desire for my body to be in shape but I can't motivate my body to feel the same way. I have done what many people (OK, maybe no people but humor me with this) have done in effort to accomplish this.

I convinced my hubby that I needed a treadmill because that would definitely solve all my problems with getting time to go running and I would use it faithfully!. . . Yeah, that is not working so well. I'm random at best with using this thing. I'd rather not use it and just look at it occasionally.

So I told Bob that I needed work out clothing. You can't really work out if you don't have the proper attire can you? So I bought workout clothing. . . . and unfortunately, I wear them for lounge wear, not workouts. I like the spandex that stretches over my fatness OK?

I convinced myself (and him) that I would be more devoted to staying on longer and daily if I had an MP3 player with my favorite tunes to keep me going. So Bob got me a nice MP3 player for Christmas where I can not only jam out to my favorite tunes but I can pass the "Sweet jogging time" by watching my favorite movies. All on that small contraption. Uh, I'm sure you can guess where we are going with this whole thing. Oh yeah, I have the music and videos loaded and sure I use it. Just not working out. Mostly I use it when I'm loafing around NOT burning calories.

But I have FINALLY found (and purchased) just the thing to help me accomplish my goal of getting in shape. I bought some sweet running shoes! Yeah, it said right on the box "Running shoes". I have had them for about a week and they have yet to work properly. I don't know what I'm missing but I put them on and nothing. I simply do what I have always done! NOTHING! Unfortunately, my shoes didn't come with instructions and so I'm inquiring to all my "in shape" blog friends. What step am I missing to get these things to work?

They sure are cute aren't they? OK, no cruel jokes about my feet being so large that they are like Ski's or something. Just ask my Dad. I would look silly with my long legs and tiny feet! Right Dad? Don't mind the white (and probably hairy) legs sticking out of my Ski's either. Those are mine and you can just see a small glimpse of why my mind is so determined to get me in shape!


Lynsey Lou knee deep in poo said...

I honestly thought that those were Al Pals feet they look small (like a childs) on this screen. I hope your working out goes better than mine. But I dont have all of those things yet so I guess that is my excuse

Kathi D said...

I think you are supposed to take the shoes off and let them run free.

My mother always told me when I complained about my size 9s (now 10s) that "You would look pretty silly being so tall with little stubby feet."

Jill said...

If someone is tall, but has small feet, I think they might be in danger of tipping over.

Seriously, those treadmills also double as great places to hang your clothes!

I would use my treadmill more, but it's in the basement, and I would have to walk all the way downstairs to use it.
And then when I'm done walking on the treadmill, I would have to walk all the way back upstairs.

I think I also need cable television so that I have something to keep my mind occupied while I'm walking.
And a big screen TV. With surround sound. (You know how noisy those treadmills can be)

Busty LaRue said...

I just love your new shoes! Where did you get them? The last pair of running shoes I bought was in 9th grade, and yes, I still wear them! I think it's time for a new pair, don't you?

I am right there with the whole working out thing. I'm hoping that when Wii Fit comes out that will a video game and get in shape? I'm down with that!

As for the treadmill...I've been working on Mike to get us an eliptical. But they are way expensive. And where in the world am I going to put it in my apartment? Hmm... I guess I'll just have to wait until Deer Valley. That'll make a difference right? One week of working out?

Nancy Face said...

I'm liking your shoes...and your quilt, too! :)

I'm 5'6" and wear size 9 wide. My daughter is 5'9" and wears size 8. what's the deal with that? She doesn't even tip over! :0

I work out every day except Sunday, and people think I enjoy it, but I HATE IT! Seriously! I would rather have more free time and eat all the rubbish in sight, but I want to be in shape and look good and not get limbs amputated from diabetes like some of my I run and sweat and do Pilates and cardio and all that junk. >:(

Good luck getting going on using all that cool fitness stuff you really is worth all the pain and sweat and stinky feet and stuff! ;)

By the way...I'm really relieved to hear that your hubby SELLS his knives, haha! ;)

Neil said...

Some things never change do they? GET REAL!!! Love you, MOM

Corrine said...

Right there with you on that, except the reason i haven't been out exercising is I don't have great shoes yet :)

petersons said...

Hmmm...try sex.

PJ said...

I have all of the above, and no recent weight loss! What the Butter?

Lola said...

Ummmmmmm.......My fat butt says that your butt is skinny enough!! Shut-up and eat a cookie already!


Nancy Face is my new exercise role model.


I'm wildly inconsistent. Sometimes I stick to the low-cal diets while working out but then I ruin it by rampaging and eating all the junk food I can forage.

If I just had my own personal trainer everything would be different....I'm sure of it.

You should ask Bob for one.

Jean Knee said...

absolutely, you only failed for lack of a personal trainer I'm sure of it