Wednesday's Wacky News!!

Restaurant stores bread on the floor in Men's Restroom.

SANFORD, Florida - Eyewitness News discovered a popular Sanford fast food restaurant that's accused of storing food on the floor inside the men's restroom. The food that was left on the floor in the restroom was just one of several critical violations health inspectors found at a Checkers location in Sanford. Employees at the Checkers store on South French Avenue at West 15th Street apparently decided it was okay to store buns for their hamburgers inside a not-so-clean men's room.

Can I just say that is really gross. I mean, storing bread/buns in a restroom is just sick anyway but a MEN'S Restroom? What were they thinking? We all know that men don't often hit the target, which would seem to leave soggy buns. Ewww ! Yuck! I'm wondering if that is where the phrase "Get your buns out of here!" Or "I'm going to pinch a loaf" came from? Well, I will just tell you right now. You won't catch me eating at THAT restaurant:)

*** IN OTHER NEWS ***

I still have NOT started Running BUT I have high hopes to figure

out how to operate these shoes very soon;)

I will keep you posted on my progress!!

OK, It's Time For A Little Self Mockery.

I kind of felt bad mocking my hubby Bob (yeah, still not his real name and I'm lying when I say I felt bad) about his knife obsession. . . or whatever it is. In fact, I really should start apologizing. You see, I forgot to mention that he works retail and has done so for 25+ years. Of course he knows how to sell a knife! He has come home every day with a big grin on his face and a stuffed wallet because he has sold knives that day. Bob said he feels a bit like a drug dealer (like how does he know how that feels!) because he takes people from work out to his vehicle to check out (and purchase) his knives. I won't completely stop mocking him though, because he still has several hundred to go before I have my living room back!

Today, I think I should let one of my dirty little secrets out of the bag. You see, I have a strong desire to be in great shape. OK, let me rephrase that. My mind has a strong desire for my body to be in shape but I can't motivate my body to feel the same way. I have done what many people (OK, maybe no people but humor me with this) have done in effort to accomplish this.

I convinced my hubby that I needed a treadmill because that would definitely solve all my problems with getting time to go running and I would use it faithfully!. . . Yeah, that is not working so well. I'm random at best with using this thing. I'd rather not use it and just look at it occasionally.












So I told Bob that I needed work out clothing. You can't really work out if you don't have the proper attire can you? So I bought workout clothing. . . . and unfortunately, I wear them for lounge wear, not workouts. I like the spandex that stretches over my fatness OK?

I convinced myself (and him) that I would be more devoted to staying on longer and daily if I had an MP3 player with my favorite tunes to keep me going. So Bob got me a nice MP3 player for Christmas where I can not only jam out to my favorite tunes but I can pass the "Sweet jogging time" by watching my favorite movies. All on that small contraption. Uh, I'm sure you can guess where we are going with this whole thing. Oh yeah, I have the music and videos loaded and sure I use it. Just not working out. Mostly I use it when I'm loafing around NOT burning calories.






But I have FINALLY found (and purchased) just the thing to help me accomplish my goal of getting in shape. I bought some sweet running shoes! Yeah, it said right on the box "Running shoes". I have had them for about a week and they have yet to work properly. I don't know what I'm missing but I put them on and nothing. I simply do what I have always done! NOTHING! Unfortunately, my shoes didn't come with instructions and so I'm inquiring to all my "in shape" blog friends. What step am I missing to get these things to work?

They sure are cute aren't they? OK, no cruel jokes about my feet being so large that they are like Ski's or something. Just ask my Dad. I would look silly with my long legs and tiny feet! Right Dad? Don't mind the white (and probably hairy) legs sticking out of my Ski's either. Those are mine and you can just see a small glimpse of why my mind is so determined to get me in shape!

Bone Yard Daddies Big Debut. . Minus One Hot Drummer

Shortly after Colton passed away, his fellow band members and several other local bands and friends of his decided to put on a benefit concert in his honor. So last night was the big night and even Ty-Ty was excited about the shindig. You can't really tell from this picture but he insisted on sporting a Fohawk for the night and had his hair standing on end in every direction. (That was of course before I sent him to his big sister for some hair help). Little did I know, he would be in good company that night with several other teenagers with the same "do". (although, there were a few boys that had more of a "Do NOT")

If you look VERY closely at the picture below you will see part of a "Do Not" hair do. Now mind you this picture is terrible, but I was trying NOT to draw any attention from the teenagers who were in a trance from the band on stage. Nor was I ready to enter the Mosh Pit, at that point, so I kept the flash off with my camera. Anyway, if you look really closely at the center of the picture and you see some points that almost look like glistening rays of sun, that is a "do NOT" that happened to be on a spectators head. That Mohawk was HUGE. And it was not only huge but the hair had also been bleached from the dark black roots to the orange-yellow tips. I didn't want to get near the boy in fear that I would get an eye poked out. And when I mean near, I'm talking within a few feet of him. But I imagine he is a nice boy and wouldn't want to poke eyes out.

Anywho, back to the concert, we found ourselves in "The Loft" loitering (lollygagging, lounging, loafing, lurking) and all that stuff that old people do when they are a bit out of their element. The amazing part was that we were having a great time doing it! The kids didn't seem to mind that there was some geriatric stench to the air. They kept on doing what kids their age do. . .whatever that is. Meanwhile us family and friends of Colton were immediately entertained by the very band that Colton was once a part of. The Bone Yard Daddies were there to rock the house! They had just been preparing for their debut right before Colton got sick and those plans were changed, along with the dynamics of the band they had formed. But they went on stage anyway, in tribute of their fallen friend and drummer. BOY did they need him! Don't get me wrong, they were fun, they really were but they needed a drummer to keep them on beat.

I am sorry to say that I didn't get to see or hear all of the bands play because about 5 minutes after our arrival for the concert, my 6 year old decided that was enough for him and began his chants of "are we going home now?" I don't know what was up but maybe his hair was weighing him down? I really wanted to stick around but those voices in my head kept saying "Toss the boy in the Mosh Pit for a little fun". OK, there wasn't even a pit at that point but it sounded fun anyway. All I could hear at that point was HIS voice blaring in my head.

Needless to say the concert fun continued on for others after we left and even Colton's best friend sang at one point. (and ripped off his shirt and other fun and crazy stuff:) Who would have ever thought that we would find this stuff hip, cool, hot, awesome, bad, dope or whatever the latest word is for good! I was pleasantly surprised and it sent me away with more sweet memories and thoughts about Colton. I'm sure he was there last night right in the middle of the mosh pit and shoving a few friends around:)

What Will He Come Up With Next?

My hubby Bob (not even close to his real name. . but it makes me giggle) has always loved pocket knives. He happens to own many of them, even though he only carries one in his "pocket" at a time. I have always thought of it as like women with purses. He owns many, they are all a bit different looking and he trades them off from time to time. OK, that all has worked for me until. . . Dun, dun, dun! (Did you like that?)

He decided to buy MANY pocket knives. I guess he is planning on selling these knives, although he hasn't really got a plan on how this is going to take place yet. This week we have had boxes arriving daily with hundreds of knives of every kind in them. I have been afraid to ask the details, but I am assuming he has close to 300 knives as of today. Now I started to get a bit alarmed at this supposed crazy behavior he is displaying and then I thought "Di, I'll bet EVERY husband does this. I'm sure that ALL wives are embarrassed by their husband's knife obsession and surplus and they are just afraid to say it! I would imagine that their living rooms have been taken over by "the knife store" at some point in their lives too. And their child has probably come to them late at night with nightmares over somebody coming in and taking that big hunting knife and stabbing them. Just put your crazy worries to rest Di! Bob is just doing what every other guy does or has done!"

So after having that conversation with myself, I put my mind at ease! I know you are all probably nodding your heads and saying "I remember when my husband _____ did that!". I'm so glad we are all in this together because quite frankly, if we weren't, I would seriously consider having Bob checked out (or checked in, if you know what I mean!) Anyway, if you need a knife. . . I will sell you one, or two or many or give you a box full. I've got a living room full. Did I mention that? Did I mention there are hundreds of them? And that my 6 year old is the VERY proud owner of one of them? Did I mention that I may need to get myself checked out? OK, yeah, that is a good idea. . I will go. I'll get back to you on the knife store :/

Oh wait. . . in other kind of wacky news: I heard that they are going to take the Polygamist children and put them in temporary foster care. Of course, they are waiting for some DNA testing to come back so that they can separate them with their siblings as much as possible. What the heck? Aren't they all siblings? All 450 of them? haha! I'm thinking that somebody is going to have a difficult time being foster parents to 50 siblings. Doesn't really make a lot of sense to me at this point but what does? I think the knife obsession is starting to affect me too:)

Another Year Older. . Enough Said!

Here I am in my fancy party attire. OK, I don't smoke but what the heck! A cigar hanging out of my mouth is sure to get some looks right? (Like the stunning outfit didn't?)

I have officially made it past another birthday, which at my age is NOT a joyous occasion anymore! Birthdays are just a big slap in the face reminder of how very old I'm getting. Today, after reading the local newspaper, I'm thinking that maybe I should change my tune about getting older. There has been a study done that indicates that old people are happiest. Well cool stuff! I'm all about finding the positive in aging.

The article made some very valid points about why this occurrence is happening, and you can read it all here:) But if you don't read that, you have to read this below. SO FUNNY and darn it, so true!!

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

The third one responded, " Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"

It Was a Day Of Much Celebrating!

Yeah, Okay I know. Tax season is officially OVER but I had to throw this picture in to say YIPEE!! I'm done with taxes for yet another year and there are no extensions filed, which means no taxes to do a bit later:) Can life really get much better than this? Tuesday was a great day as I mailed and E-filed the final returns and then went to lunch with a friend in celebration. (I'll find any reason to eat food you know). But while I was gone to eat, this was delivered to my house:



Actually, the only thing the delivery had in common with the above ad was that it was a mattress. It is a queen size mattress and a new one. I will make my own urine and slobber stains & smells alright? OK, that was gross and untrue. I will refrain from either. . if possible.

I have not had a new mattress for sooooooooooo long that I didn't realize they were supposed to be this soft, sturdy and comfortable and without the indent of my body in it. (and boy is my indent BIG:) My husband Bob (I told him that was his new internet name)and I are used to a king bed and mattress, so this queen thing is going to take some adjustment. I am a light sleeper and don't like ANY noise nor do I want anyone touching me, breathing on me or looking at me funny at any point. Yeah, now you are laughing that I downsized! Well, we had our first "new bed" night last night and I actually can say with a grin . . . . . I slept really bad and so did Bob. Don't ask me why I'm grinning. It is probably that I am delirious from lack of sleep! It's going to take a while to adjust to this all but I'm hopeful. Who needs sleep right? I figure, as long as I am comfy while I lay there awake I'm good! *sigh!*


In other good news, my Ty-Ty was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and proudly & loudly announced this to me. "Mom, the dog is potty trained!" In my head I start visualizing Ty holding the dog over the toilet as he went, so I responded "Oh he is? How is that?"
Ty yelled back "Well he came into the bathroom with me and lifted his leg right at the toilet and peed all over it! That makes him potty trained! He's a good dog huh mom! Should I go get him a treat?" All that I could say was "Sure thing honey". Sometimes it's just easier not to argue when you are dealing with a young child! Hope your day is filled with good news too!!

How I Spent A Lazy Sunday Afternoon.

No, this is not what I NORMALLY look like. ( Actually, I am not normal, so I guess it is) and this is NOT my bedroom. It's a condo in Vegas but it was comfy & my sister snapped this grand photo. It's my only relaxing photo (hee hee) so it will have to do for this post:)

After a morning of church meetings, lunch and a nice little nap, I found myself a bit bored. The kids had occupied the TV and were watching their favorite "Drake & Josh" episode for the umpteenth time. I have only seen it about 3 times and can repeat the whole thing word for word almost, which is scary since my memory is crap! Anyway, I was bored and so I decided to do a little research, a little "soul searching" if you will. And what better way to find out about yourself than on the computer?? I say there can't be a better way after what I learned today! I didn't think that anyone would know myself better than I do after 40+ years of being around myself 24/7, but I guess I was wrong again. (this is only the second time I have been wrong:)

I found myself on Blogthings and boy the things I learned! I think I will share some of them with you! You know me, I love to share. . . or do I? Maybe I should check on this website and see if I really do?

You see, it's like this. I have never once in all my years wondered if I am rock, paper or scissors. It turns out I am rock. Who would have known? Not me! You know, I am a child of the 80's and sure I had crushes on stars but I didn't know who my 80's hunk really was. Well it ends up that John Stamos is my hunk. I am now feeling quite bad that I didn't have ANY of his posters plastered on my bedroom walls. *sigh*. I guess I've spent a lifetime to this point of unluckiness. As it turns out, red underwear are my lucky color in undies. Who would have guessed? Not me for sure and so I have had lots of bad luck that I've blamed on my striped socks, not my white granny underpants! I was dismayed to find out that I wasted my time in college and have spent many years in the wrong career! Apparently my ideal career type is SOCIAL. My ideal careers being a teacher, librarian, social worker etc. It didn't mention accountant any where in there. And I don't think an accountant is considered all that social do you? Fortunately, I didn't end up as a farmer or a truck driver, as these would be the worst career paths for me. Whew! I really had given some thought to that driving school a few years back! I was completely stunned to find out that the kind of soda I am is 7-UP. Seems a bit odd since you always hear "you are what you eat/drink". Therefore, I should be a Diet Coke w/Lime (and some chocolate). I actually despise 7-UP so does that mean I don't like myself? I am beginning to really wonder about this all.

I continued this fun game/moment of self realization for about an hour and in the process, I also found out my name for different things. Here they are:

1920's name- Fannie Zella (THANK goodness I wasn't born and mocked in the 1920's!)

Leprechaun name- Weebit Greentoes (I'm no green thumb for sure)

Drag Queen name - Hollywood (mine) & my hubbies was Sissy Pantz! (loved that one!)

Pirate name- Cannibal Ivy the Infected (with what? The Ivy?)

Oh, I could have gone on for hours with this site and the time of self discovery. Actually, I think that I need to wrap my brain around what I have uncovered today, go get therapy and come back next week for more. I'm dying to know what kind of cookie I am, what carnival ride I am and who I am going to vote for. But for now. . . I'm off to therapy!

So Yeah, I'm Just A Dorky, Loser Mom.. What's New?

This bunny is greeting me after I forgot to post anything about my kiddos birthdays this past week. I guess I did a big blog for Kitty's Birthday and so the boys assume that she's my favorite. (Well duh! She's my girl! Only teasing. . They are all my favorite. . when they're not on my bad list:) Anyway, here is a belated birthday post & shout out to my oldest and youngest!

Ty-Ty is my baby and he just turned 6 in April 4th. Now we can start the countdown again in the triple digits for next years birthday. "Only 358 more days Mom!" Oh, my! How this child can make me feel much older than I am. He certainly keeps me going:)

I've posted this pic before but it makes me laugh a lot because it is so Ty. He has a cute laugh that makes me laugh. This was taken at Lagoon and was only a week after a Disneyland trip. He enjoyed Lagoon MUCH more than Disneyland. What the heck? Well, it's cheaper for sure! (Although I prefer Disneyland any day).
Jake (AKA- The mighty one) just celebrated his 20th Birthday on April 8th. He is no longer a teenager!! Nah, that doesn't make his mother feel old at all. . Who am I kidding? If I'm not feeling old from the youngest wearing me out, it's from Jake getting old himself! (Of course I had him when I was 12. . wink wink) I'm not sure what this pose was but it was some suit dwelling super hero pose I'm sure of it. (or for gay model magazine:)Here is Jake at California Adventure Park. He just had to have his picture snapped here. Something about him never having been in an A-hole before. . I dunno. . . I don't get it but complied with his request anyway. heh heh heh:D Sorry, that was bad! I like the idea of kids giving their Mothers gifts on each of their birthdays. We did give them
their birthday to begin with for Pete's sake (although I have no idea who Pete is and he was not involved in them being born). They should also be giving US the gifts for keeping them alive for one more year don't you think? I say it's only right! All those in favor say I??

There I Was, In The Spotlight And Caught Brown Handed!

Friday night I had the opportunity to once again help audit the Miss "SmalltownUSA" (not it's real name) Pageant. My brother in-law Jeff and I have done this for many years now and so it was just the same old thing for us pros. Except this time there were a few hiccups with my computer and I ended up adding all the scores by hand on my part. It just reminded me that I need to freshen up on my adding abilities! I haven't had to use my brain (and fingers) to add for so long that it was trying at times. Anyway, that has nothing to do with my story here.

The pageant had started and we were sitting behind our table up at the front of the auditorium (almost facing everyone who was seated). I was having a hankering for some chocolate and remembered that the pageant director had given us some yummy mint chocolate. I decided that I would sneak my arm down in my bag at the right time, when lots of noise was going on and snag me a piece. The audience was clapping for the M.C and so I bent over, grabbed the chocolate and started pulling it up towards me and just then. . . Dun Dun! Was that suspenseful
or what? Got you interested? Wanna know more? Really it's lame but here it goes.

The M.C announced "We would like to thank our auditors over here" and as he said this, the spotlight hit us! I was still half bent over with chocolate in tow!! I looked over and Jeff was upright and giving a nice friendly wave as they thanked us. OH, I could have died! Couldn't they just get that light off from us? Of all the moments! They had never done it this way before! I wasn't expecting it! I was caught brown handed in front of a packed auditorium and that's not all. This was to be aired over and over again on the local city cable channel. GREAT! Now the whole county knows what I chocolate hog I am! Well, I guess when you are an addict like me, it's bound to get out to everyone. There is no trying to hide my mad love and addiction to chocolate anymore. (By the way, I'm not eating chocolate right now as I'm typing, but another yummy thing "Chili Cheese Fritos! They're great for Breakfast:)

P.S. For those of you who have never seen me, the resemblance of me and Marilyn is uncanny!
(Although I have dark hair and a face and body that looks nothing like hers, but the rest is the same:) I even dressed like she is dressed in this picture to do my auditing duties:0)

I don't get my thrills from air blowing up my skirt but from a big hunk of Symphony bar in my mouth!

HOLY COW! I Got An Award!!

Thanks PJ from Wild Daisies for passing this award on to me! It's my very first! (now you will be known as my first:) heh heh he! I love the award! I will hug it and squeeze it and all that stuff. . . Oh yeah, I will also pass it on to some amazing bloggers too!

I would love to pass this on to:

Elasticwaistbandlady/The Smiling Infidel- who keeps me laughing like a mad woman.

Kathi D/I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus- She has a fun life & she tells fun stories.

Lola...again- She's a triple threat with her many talents and don't forget, humor (Plus she just made me a super HOT new bag:).

You all keep me laughing and inspire me:)

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

After seeing the fun things that PJ posted on her cute blog last Thursday, I decided that I would do the same. Uh, it was a bit harder than I thought. For one thing, I am no photographer (as you can see in the pictures!) and the other thing was that I was clueless on what to take pictures of. So this is 13 things that I have looked at today.



PJ's cute Wild Daisies Blog - She has a darling family & takes cute (& good) pics!

This is a must see blog if you want to laugh your head off!! I get a kick out of Elasticwaistbandlady !

And then those tax programs that I would rather NOT look at!

What's left of the pumpkin cookies I made the other night. I am shocked there are still cookies in there with me around the house!!

I look at my Diet Coke first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to bed. Addicted?? NO, just madly in love!!

This is a darling nativity my parents had sent to us from Nigeria while they were serving in that country. Now they are in Liberia. (less than two month now remaining! YIPEE!) I love this Nativity and as you can see it's still up!

Here is my cute Ty-Ty! He is watching Nickelodeon and asking me for the millionth time if it's time to go shopping for his birthday (which is tomorrow!)

Awww! It's my cute puppy Beaux! He loves it when I pull down my comforter on my bed and he can curl up in it!

Another thing I wake up in the morning to. It's my fancy chandelier! I love this in my bedroom and somehow feel like I'm cool to have it there!!

This is a ceiling tile that my sister Lola ordered for me on EBay for my birthday a while back. I love it! It is also in my bedroom.

Do you have clocks in your house that seem to be there for the looks and not the function? Well, this one seems to be that way. It has been the same time for many years!! But I love it!

I showed you a pic of my youngest, and so here is my oldest! He is taking a nap on my GOOD PILLOW! Darn kids anyhow! Well, he couldn't resist after working his shift at 5 a.m.

And for something gross, check out the grease on this box! No kidding! This was what we had earlier and now I am regretting it! OK, I'm not really. I enjoyed it! Are you happy now? Well regardless, that ends my tour of the 13 things I have looked at today. (my photography is so bad you will have to pretend you have 20/300 vision!) Anyway! Have a great one!

Bring On Spring!

You gotta love Spring! I'm telling you it's in the top 3 of my favorite Seasons (Winter for me is ALWAYS in 4th place). What other time of year do you get your "Spring Cleaning" done? I sure as heck don't do it in the Winter, Summer or Fall. Nope, not me! I save it all year so that I can clean my house in the Spring. And for some strange reason I like it! I have been having my A.D.D moments as I do a little bit of taxes and then go to put the laundry in the dryer, only to be distracted enough that I start a whistling and a cleaning. No kidding. . . it's true! I start opening the windows like I think it's warm or something and whistle like I'm enjoying cleaning. I guess something must snap in our heads in Spring? We feel the wild urge to clean? Maybe it's that we have been brain washed all our lives from hearing the words "Spring cleaning"? I don't really know what it is but I'm on a roll so don't stop me now! The kids were shocked to find out that there is a heat vent in the Laundry room, as it has apparently always been covered by something!

I guess there are some reasons why Spring is NOT my favorite season though. Why is it that EVERY year we have a few good weather weeks and then WHAM! We get some ugly, freezing cold blizzard that wipes out all of the beautiful spring flowers that have just popped their colorful heads out. It depresses me, that's what it does! I guess I deserve to be let down because I get this crazy "I don't have to look at the weather channel" attitude, like I think EVERY day from now on will be nice! I planned to have a barbecue this past Sunday and do you think I ever inquired as to what the weather would be like? Heavens no! It was going to be nice just like the previous few days. Of course it will be! This is Spring!. . . Yeah this is Spring alright and we woke up Sunday morning to a good (bad) 4 inches of snow and it just kept coming down all day! We opted for frozen burritos instead for our Sunday lunch. *sigh!* One of these years I'm going to get smart and expect Snow every day in Spring, only to be delighted when it's a balmy 60 degrees outside. (you got to remember this is Utah folks and balmy Spring days don't get much better than that!)

And finally, the last thing I despise about Spring is that it's (hold on. . . I'm about to say a swear word). TAX SEASON! Enough said. . . . Hey! I hope you are having a fabulous Spring day and if nothing else, you got your "Spring cleaning" done:)