Happy Leap Day!!

Don't try this trick at home! This form of Leap Day celebrating is reserved for freckle faced, red headed , adventurous & mischievous little boys (or if your name is Huck Finn). I think that I can find better things to eat in celebration of this rare day! HAVE A GREAT ONE!!

Seven Habits Of A Highly Ineffective Person

OK, so I've been tagged by Busty Larue and I'm pretty much tag-tarded so I'll just make this seven random things about me you may or may not know. (Or wish you didn't know).

1. The only face I want to see first thing in the morning and last thing at night is the face of my Diet Coke with Lime. (Yes, they do have faces! And feelings! Thanks for hurting them by not acknowledging their features!) I love my caffeine and would consider
myself addicted!

2. I have split personalities. One is the florist, who designs during the day. The other is the
number cruncher and that is what I do in my later afternoons. I don't want one side of my
brain to feel bad that I don't use it as often so I try to give them equal time! While I'm not
really good at either thing, I believe in E.O.B (Equal opportunity Brainusage- yes I know that isn't one word but how was I supposed to make it work?)

3. I can be easily entertained. I have a terrible memory and so I can watch the same show over & over without realizing it until the end. You can also repeat your whole life stories to me
many times, because it's always new to me! Who knows, I might give you different feedback
each time!??

4. I forgot. . . What was I trying to accomplish here?? Let me scroll up. Oh yeah! Did I
happen to mention I have a bad memory? Well, I also think I have A.D.D. Yeah, leave
out the hyperactive H in there because I'm not too overly hyper. I just have issues staying
focused. Everything in my house is half done!. . . and therefore, half undone. Not really in equal halves either. This is where I have a deficit in equality! I know, this all sounds intriguing and you are wanting me to do your taxes now aren't you?? No worries!

5. I love my computer. Can't live without it! It's one of my addictions! Oh yeah, just
ask anyone who knows me. It is glued at my hip!. . . And you just thought I had big hips
naturally?? Oh you silly people! What? YES. . and thanks for reminding me. . . my big butt IS all natural.

6. I don't like my pancakes and eggs on the same plate. I just can't have the salty and the sweet touching each other. No syrup in my eggs please! I love breakfast foods though and
could eat them any time of day. (along with any other food item you might put in front of me. . .
24/7 that's me!)

7. My secret dream was to be a Broadway dancer or better yet, to be a lead in Les Miserables. It would be more miserable though if I was staring in it! I happen to be a
Les Mis fanatic pretty much and have seen it 6 or 7 times already and I'm not stopping
now. . . and especially since I can't remember what happens each time I go. It's like seeing
it for the first time. . . again!

Runny Nose. . . Potty Mouth.

I'm thinking this is a great idea!! I could really use this right now as I am sniffling and tired of hunting down the T.P because the dog keeps biting the end of the roll and running CLEAR down the hall with it. Needless to say, we can't seem to keep it on the wall mount thing-a-ma-jigger. It is always somewhere else in the house.

My other thought was to just stuff big wads of T.P. up my nose so that there would be no nasal dripage (is that even a word? How about runnage?) on my computer as I type. Are you visualizing that one too? So now which do you think would look better? You know, I'm all about fashion ! Not even a runny nose will stop that!

But I'm worried. . . if I have the amazing hat, I will be summoned to the bathroom and have to endure that whole scene because somebody forgot to hunt down the T.P before engaging in toilet activities. (Wasn't that a nice way to put it?)

Oh man. . . how come my blogs always end up in the toilet? Go figure!

If My Trunk Is A Knocken'. . . . .

Don't ask. . . let's just say it was a rough weekend with the kids.

Particularly one of the four.

The child just doesn't know when to shut up!

I begged and pleaded!!

I told him he was on my last nerve.

He whined some more. . and then some more.

I threatened him a million times. . .

but he wouldn't stop!

The house is quiet now. . . the trunk isn't.

Don't worry, he's in there with his transformers, his sponge bob dvd, a cheese tortilla and ring pop.

He's not suffering. . . And now, neither am I.

(Hee Hee! I'm only teasing! No need to call the child welfare services! They already know!)

A Questionable Lunch Date?? I Question That.

After a few weeks hiatus from restaurants and such due to illness, I was able to convince my hubby to take me to lunch yesterday. I was craving Mexican food and so we headed off to our favorite, local family restaurant. I don't know if it was because it of the time of day we were there, but things were a bit different. We had a waitress come take our order and she was one we were familiar with from previous visits. I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal and she quickly and apologetically informed me that they were out of diet products. (had I known that I would have gone to the second favorite place!! ) I told her that I would just have water then. Seeing that she had already brought out a pitcher of water, I poured myself a glass as I munched on chips and salsa. Just then, she brought me out a large glass of ice water with a lime in it. I thanked her and quickly pushed my other drink to the side. She noticed that our chips were a bit low and offered to bring us more. My husband was about ready to dip his chip in salsa when she abruptly yanked it out from under him and told him she would be out with more. He was bugged! But he gets bugged easily. I on the other hand chuckled! When she brought out more, she asked "How is your water ma'am?" I was a bit taken back by the question. How was it supposed to be?? Like water?? Yep! It sure was! I don't know but I have never rated my water! Nor have I returned it for being too cold, too hot or something else unpleasant or unusual. I told her it was GREAT! Hubby and I had another good chuckle. She returned with our food and then had only walked away for about 3 seconds when she came over and asked "How is your food sir?" He hadn't even taken a bite but told her it was great! He was REALLY bugged at this point and I reminded him that she is trying REALLY hard to be a good waitress and therefore get a good tip! I would be over the top too if it meant more money!! (I can act for a price!!)

Like in most Mexican restaurants around here, there are Spanish speaking people working there. (sometimes NOT!) Anyway, those working there that day were all Spanish speaking and it was one of those times I desperately wished I spoke the language. They were standing only a few feet from us and were speaking very fast and with an angry tone it seemed. I was trying to figure out if these were family members all working this shift together. They would speak and the oldest one would loudly say "SSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" This continued on over and over and she would SSHHHHHHH them again, with a stern look on her face. I wondered what they were saying? Hubby and I were creating our own monologue and it was funny at times and yet a bit scary at other times! We pictured them saying something like "Those fools think we fed them beef but it was really dog!!" and then the oldest trying to quiet them! Or my husband thought our waitress was saying "Hee Hee, I totally spit in her water!! And she said it's great!" It all kind of freaked me out at the thought! I don't know what was really being said but it has motivated me to learn some Spanish (more than what I learned on Sesame Street) so that the next time I go, I am not completely in the dark! Fortunately, whatever they MAY have put in our food wasn't deadly because I am here today to write about it! No food poisoning at all!! Yipee!! (Sorry! the pic is of a Chinese Restaurant but it seemed so appropriate!)

"Almost Home"?? I Think NOT!!

I found this video and had a really good chuckle! #1, how many times have you looked at these portable bathrooms (if that is what you could call them) and wanted to pull a prank on some poor sucker who entered?? You have? I figured as much because I have too! I most likely haven't come up with the crazy ideas you have (you are the more creative one) but I still get a really good laugh at the thought!! #2, anyone who DARES enter and use these things have to go really bad! And there obviously isn't even a tree or bush around! No kidding! I would use my fingernails and dig myself a hole in the dirt then get some twigs and make a bit of a shelter and find a few leaves for TP before using one of those. (I did latrine certify at girls camp you know!) Am I alone in feeling this way? Well, if using an Almost Home (A company is really stretching it with a name like this!)isn't bad enough, check out the humiliation for these unsuspecting potty dwellers.



It makes me wonder if anyone was in there pooping and taking a really long time? Now wouldn't that be embarrassing?? Well, if the men are like my husband, they weren't going #2 because he has those things on a timer it seems! ( I have YET to figure that whole thing out!) He only does that at home in OUR bathroom! We would sure hate to share the stench with the rest of the world and would much rather keep it confined to our house!! Wheeeeeeeeeeew! Of course, if he had been one of the people pranked in this, he may have had the last laugh as they abruptly left the room gasping!

Reunited and it feels so. . .

GOOD???

Oh man, they are feeling a bit too crazy together! It looks like I need to hide the camera again, and the costume box, kitchen utensils, small children and the dog! Jake has moved back in the house after a peaceful 9 month stint away with his friends. Kitty was a bit lost without him and quickly picked up her crazy behavior in no time with his arrival. Oh goodie! I can hardly wait! *sigh*

Al Pal gets the look that reminds him he is no longer the fav brother! I have never had to worry about Kitty holding her own with three brothers. She manages to keep them all in her back pocket and jumping when she says to do so! (Ty Ty managed to sleep through all the ruckus the Three Stooges had going on)You know, now that I get a closer look at these kids, I don't really think they are mine! They look nothing like me. . . In fact, you know how they say you forget childbirth pains? I forgot the whole child birth thing! Maybe I didn't really give birth to these things! I'm sure I didn't!! It is really hard for me to believe that they are 12, 17 & almost 20! I'm only 30 myself! How could I have pulled that off?? Or am I? Well regardless, you would NEVER catch me acting like such a fool for a picture or anything else for that matter! hee hee!

If you recognize these things that have overtaken my home or if you would like to keep them for yourself just leave me a comment. There will be a lucky random drawing for these treasures!! They are all yours!! (I'll throw in the husband and dog as a bonus!)

Tax Season & Pneumonia. . . . Two Of My Favorite Things!

I know, it's a weird title but that is what's in my wacked out brain right now! It's that crazy (hateful) tax season and I do taxes and so I am researching new tax laws etc., while I hang in bed with pneumonia. I know you are jealous on both accounts! Well, don't be! There are MUCH more entertaining things to do in life!! But in my research, I found a funny letter that was actually sent to the IRS. Oh, the IRS had better NEVER think of disallowing one or more of my dependents. I could send them a letter they would NOT forget! haha! You will get a kick out of this one! (I found this here)
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Dear IRS

NOTE: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst of 1995's weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions, and credits. The letter speaks for itself.

Dear Sirs:

I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair that, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year. Please do not try to reassign them to me next year and reinstate the deduction. They are yours!

The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her mastery of any subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze. Next year, she is going to college. I think it's wonderful thatyou will now be responsible for that little expense. While you mull that over, keep in mind that she has a truck. It doesn't run at the moment, so you have the choice of appropriating some Department of Defense funds to fix the vehicle, or getting up early to drive her to school. Kristen also has a boyfriend. Oh joy! While she possesses all of the wisdom of the universe, her alleged mother and I have felt it best to occasionally remind her of the virtues of abstinence, or in the face of overwhelming passion, safe sex. This is always uncomfortable, and I am quite relieved you will be handling this in the future. May I suggest that you reinstate Dr. Jocelyn Elders who had a rather good handle on the problem.

Patrick is 14. I've had my suspicions about this one. His eyes are a little closer together than those of normal people. He may be a tax examiner himself one day, if he is not incarcerated first. In February, I was awakened at three in the morning by a police officer who was bringing Pat home. He and his friends were TP'ing houses. In the future, would you like him delivered to the local IRS office, or to Ogden, UT? Kids at 14 will do almost anything on a dare. His hair is purple. Permanent dye, temporary dye, what's the big deal? Learn to deal with it.You'll have plenty of time, as he is sitting out a few days of school after instigating a foodfight in the cafeteria. I'll take care of filing your phone number with the vice-principal. Oh yes, he and all of his friends have raging hormones. This is the house of testosterone and it will be much more peaceful when he lives in your home. DO NOT leave him or his friends unsupervised with girls, explosives, flammables, inflatables, vehicles, or telephones. (They find telephones a source of unimaginable amusement. Be sure to lock out the 900 and 976 numbers!)

Heather is an alien. She slid through a time warp and appeared as if by magic one year. I'm sure this one is yours. She is 10 going on 21. She came from a bad trip in the sixties. She wears tie-dyed clothes, beads, sandals, and hair that looks like Tiny Tim's. Fortunately, you will be raising my taxes to help offset the pinch of her remedial reading courses. "Hooked On Phonics" is expensive, so the schools dropped it. But here's the good news! You can buy it yourself for half the amount of the deduction that you are denying me! It's quite obvious that we were terrible parents (ask the other two). She cannot speak English. Most people under twenty understand the curious patois she fashioned out of valley girls/boys in the hood/reggae/yuppie/political double speak. The school sends her to a speech-pathologist who has her roll her "r's". It added a refreshing Mexican/Irish touch to her voice. She wears hats backwards, baggy pants, and wants one of her ears pierced four more times. There is a fascination with tattoos that worries me, but I am sure that you can handle it. Bring a truck when you come to get her, she sort of "nests" in her room and I think that it would be easier to move the entire thing than find out what it is really made of.

You denied two of the three exemptions, so it is only fair that you get to pick which two you will take. I prefer that you take the youngest two, I will still go bankrupt with Kristen's college, but then I am free! If you take the two oldest, then I still have time for counseling before Heather becomes a teenager. If you take the two girls, then I won't feel so bad about putting Patrick in a military academy. Please let me know of your decision as soon as possible, as I have already increased the withholding on my W-4 to cover the $395 in additional tax and made a down payment on an airplane.

Yours truly,

Bob

Note: The IRS allowed the deductions and reinstated his refund.

Still Not Feeling Well

I've managed to get some darn virus and can't get rid of it! The bummer is that I am pretty sure I got it from the doctor's office! Oh yeah, I went there feeling great and a day later was NOT so great! Then again, maybe I'm suffering from "Turtleneckitis". I've heard that can get to you after a long winter of turtleneck wearing!! Maybe I should just be defiant and wear a tank top or something?? Would that help?

I have moments where I have even said "I am sicker than a dog". I'm not really sure what that means but maybe this is the reason for my illness to begin with?? Here I thought the kids were doing the dishes while I was in bed but it turns out I was wrong!!

Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream. . . . .

"I sailed away to China in a little rowboat to find ya. And you said you had to get your laundry clean.". . . . . Now just what kind of friend are you? Here I've been sailing for so long using my hands for oars (you can see there are none above!) and you blow me off that way?. . . . OK, enough of that song. It just depresses me!! Anyone who would trade laundry for me!! But really I had a dream last night. No kidding I did! This dream just happens to be a reoccuring dream for me and I really want to know why I have it and just what does it mean?

I actually have two reoccuring dreams that are different and yet quite the same. The first one is where I am back in college and I realize that I haven't attended one of my classes the whole semester and it's almost over. I also dream, in that same dream, that I can't find my class or that I completely blew off studying for a big test. THAT is the dream I had last night! It was all about school!

My other dream is that I am just getting ready to go out on the field and perform with the dance team and I realize that I don't know the dance at all!! And worse than that, I am sometimes in my underwear and NOT my costume!! I tend to wake up REALLY ticked off at myself for my poor performance!! Did I forget to do something in my life and it's haunting me in my dreams?? Am I worried about something? I can't make heads or tails of it!

A crazy dream that I used to have over and over was that I was working on a conveyor belt where cheeseburgers would come past. I had to eat all the cheeseburgers that came down by me. There would ALWAYS be TOO many and I would panic as I would try to shove them all down my throat! I swear I would wake up sick and in a cold sweat!! The weirdest part is that I was mostly vegetarian at the time and didn't eat hamburger!! Those dreams have stopped and the others have started! So I'm needing some dream interpreters to figure these out for me so that just maybe I can stop them (and move on to something else wacky!)

What do you think it all means? I'm open to any ideas!! Go ahead. . . leave me a comment. . . I know you are thinking you want to!! I'd love to hear your ideas! (and don't tell me I can't spell or that I have improper sentences and stuff!! My darn spell check thingee doesn't work and I don't really care that I can't write either. . . I'm an accountant for heaven's sake. We do numbers, not letters and such! hee hee)

"How To" Instructions

There! I've done my good deed for the day and so I don't want to see any of you around town (or in blogmart, blogko or blogville) with a hat on your rear or foot!! Okay??. . . You are welcome in advance!

HOLIDAY OVERLOAD!!

After working all day & night in freezing cold temperatures INDOORS (to keep the flowers perky!) We were not only tired and cold, but we were delirious!! It's all a bit hazy to me now but I think we were going for the unibomber look and Lola was spelling COW with her fingers and mouth and I was spelling WOW! (Jenny in the middle was supposed to be doing MOM but failed miserably! She's a loser & looks like she is sprouting something out of her face!) Aren't we incredibly talented? I'm not sure how the flowers turned out for Valentines Day but we were being our usual dorks and enjoying it!! OK, don't be jealous but we are HOT in this pic!! (next time I shouldn't wear my daughter's hoodie huh??)






Darn! I forgot to take pictures of the masses of flower arrangements because I was too busy (working my butt off. . . oh, it's still there) and only thought about it as the day was winding down and few were left! Oh well. Here is just a few of the 1000s of flowers we touched this week!

Right now is my favorite part of Valentine's Day. It's actually the night and I'm finally home and of course eating a sugar cookie, drinking a Diet Coke and scraping the frostbite off from my toes and fingers! Don't worry! I should only loose a couple of digits on each!! I can still walk and type without them!! Hope your Valentine was good to you!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

OK, I am in flower H.E._._ today with a million orders at our floral.(I know you were probably unaware that there was a flower hell but there is!) But in a down moment and for entertainment, we reviewed a video that has my husband in it. It's on YouTube. I thought I would let him be a star for the day on my blog. He is the manager that gets called in at the end of the video and saves the day. (not really but it sounded good!) Nobody had better try to pull any crap over on him!! haha! I love you honey !!

Two Of My Favorite People Singing Together !! What Could Be Better?

Josh Groban & Andrea Bocelli at the 2008 Grammys

I think I've died and gone to heaven!!

Oh Yes! Sweet Pies!

Sometimes the payoff for having a floral can be soooooooo sweet! We have an older lady who makes us pies this time each year in exchange for colored foil. She just happens to makes the best pies ever known to man! (and better yet. . woman!) Gosh, I think we should just have people bring us food instead of cash for our products! Sure would make me happy!! (and fat) I have a feeling it wouldn't go over so well in the long run would it!??

ALMOST PARADISE??

Today I was thinking that I would do anything to be on a beach right now. . . . .


I've changed my mind!!

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY KITTY!!

It is pretty difficult to think that I have a daughter who is 17 years old. What is even worse, is that she has an older brother & he is almost 20!! *SIGH* That makes me. . . . . . . . . . . . Old.

Feeling Under The Weather

Feeling "under the weather" is really an odd way to say your not feeling well. Aren't we all under the weather?? I'm thinking yes. . . So I am under the weather and NOT feeling well at all. I have some nasty cold!! I really have got to start carrying around a piece of wood so that I can knock on it when needed. I made the mistake Thursday of bragging about how great I have felt and BAM! It hits me and hard!! Then again, maybe I need to just keep my mouth shut about feeling good. Regardless, I have definitely got to get myself "over the weather" or feeling great because as a floral owner, this is NOT a good week to not be at the top of your game! I'll just pop a few more pills and hope to be back at it VERY soon! ( I only wish I looked this good when feeling ill!! I didn't want to scare you with a real picture of myself !)

Sweetheart's Dance

GLAMOUR NAILS FOR THE EVENING. . . . . . . . . . . . .$ 28.00

FANCY BLACK & RHINESTONE SHOES. . . $ 24.99

BEAUTIFUL BLACK DRESS THAT IS SURE TO IMPRESS. . . $ 109.00

DARLING HAIR CURLS BY COUSIN LYNSEY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . FREE !!!

LOSER GUY (SHE ASKED TO GO) BACKING OUT AT LAST
MINUTE. . . . . . . $ ZERO (HE'S WORTHLESS!!)








NICE BOY WHO STEPPED IN TO TAKE HER (& HER COOL COUSIN
WHO ARRANGED IT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . PRICELESS



I was VERY happy with how well she handled the date situation and the last minute "sick" call from the loser! After the date, she told me that they had met some friends at the mall before going to eat and guess who she saw?? YES, the loser and he was shopping but didn't see them. She must not really be my child because I would have made sure he saw me and swiftly kicked him in the shins! (and maybe other places too!!. . . . because I'm mean like that!) Regardless of the way it started, she had a great time and nobody was injured!!

I Guess I Should Have Been More Specific!!

Nope! Ty Ty is STILL not old enough to pick out his own clothing for the day! In my frantic morning run around, I gave him the thumbs up to find his own clothes and get dressed to save me time. I'm not sure if he was going for shock factor or if he also is suffering from the Winter time blues but he was pretty pleased with his selection!! A padded swimsuit!! Perfect!! Should work nice for the day!!. . . And NO he doesn't have on matching socks ! That is how unfit I am as a Mother ! He had to rumage through the laundry pile I haven't folded yet and find his own!! Or maybe he pulled them from the dirty clothes?? It sure looks that way to me!! Truthfully, I don't know but was able to convince him to save this adorable ensemble for another day!!


When I looked at this pic though it reminded me of the good ole 80's and the shoulda ma' pads we wore in everything! Yeah, remember those? OH shut up those of you who are saying in your young sassy voices "I was barely born in the 80s!" This is what I say to you. . ." YOU MISSED OUT LOSERS!!" We all had small butts in the 80s. Between shoulder pads and big hair, our bottom half looked extremely svelte! I think we were really on to something then! What are we doing now to combat the problem?? Wearing low rise jeans and short tops that let our fat rolls hang out?? I don't know about you, but it's not working so well for me!! I'm not hiding anything!! I say we need to join together and bring back the big bangs and shoulder pads for all women!! What are we waiting for?? Sure beats diet and exercise anyday!!






HOT 80's BABES!!

IS THAT YOU???

You mentioned that we might not recognize you when you finally get home, but seriously Dad & Mom!. . . . You look just like you did when you left!! . . . . . . . . . . . Big ears, hairy knuckles and all!! hee hee!

A little monkeying around and a kiss on the hand for Dad!!

MY CUTE MISSIONARY PARENTS IN AFRICA !!!

Mom & Dad took needed clothing to a Liberian Orphanage in an ongoing effort to give Humanitarian Aid where and when they can.
Baptisms in Liberia. A little different than what we experience here in the U.S.A

Dad showing off the large, lush foilage of Africa. Nope Dad, I don't think we can use these in the floral!!

MY CUTE MISSIONARY PARENTS IN AFRICA !!

Dad finally found his own species in Liberia!! He is enjoying the entertaining baby monkeys.

Dad & Mom were the "after church Taxi" in Nigeria for several members. I think you have room for one more!!
Dad feeling right at home with the Ostrich! This one seems to like you! No head pecking!!

Nigerian baptismal font that was finally filled with water because of Dad's brains & hard work!!

Mom in Nigeria helping the members pick out reading glasses that were collected here & sent.

Houston, We Have a Problem ! WAAAAAAHH !!

This has nothing to do with Houston. . .not even Texas at all! And it's not that WE have a problem. The problem is clearly mine! I guess I said that because it just sounded familiar!! So. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . Does the above picture look wrong to you?? Well HELLO!!. . . I have man hands!! They are bigger than my husbands!! No kidding! Oh wait. . . that wasn't the story. . .
Let's just say that tonight has NOT been my best night ever! It started when I decided to go grocery shopping! Yeah, that would have been enough to ruin my night but it didn't end there. I decided to actually look through the fridge and pantry to see what we did and didn't have instead of my usual approach of just random shopping. Did I mention I hate it? Oh *sigh* well I still do! Anyway, I pulled out the crisper drawer in the fridge to check out the inventory of veggies and I guess I don't know my own strength and I whipped that drawer out and onto the floor. Unfortunately in the process it caught my left hand as it went down. I immediately looked at my ring finger, which took the bulk of the hit and there was my diamondless ring around my finger!! "HOLY CRAP!" I yelled loudly and then a terrible vision flashed quickly through my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my puppy running quickly towards me (and the spilled drawer of food). I could just picture him eating my diamond up like it was a crumb and then me digging through his poo for the next week trying to retrieve it!! I frantically yelled for my son to grab the dog and I started filling my hand around the floor and in the bottom of the crisper drawer. THERE IT WAS!! I'm just glad I didn't have to really eat those vegetables to find it!! Oh, it was my lucky (unlucky) day!! I sadly stated to my husband "OHHHH, Now I'm going to have to go without it until I can get it to a jeweler!" my five year old son interrupted with "No mom, why don't you just get the hot glue gun and put it back together. That's how you fix everything else!" Uh, I just don't see that working this time! What do you think??

Narcolepsy In Vegas Was Had By All!

We had a great time in Vegas but unfortunately we all seemed to have a random case of narcolepsy when the camera came out!! Actually, it was when we were sitting down to eat!

It happened at the Cheese Cake Factory, Jimmy Buffet's, The House of Blues and pretty much anywhere we stopped for food and a pic! From the looks of it we were all having SWEET dreams while we slept with those cheesy grins on our faces. I am sure we were dreaming of the fab food that was coming!! YUM! Yeah, I think that was it! Gary was having one of those "Cheeseburger In Paradise" dreams. I was dreaming of having my corn colored BIG teeth whitened and some wrinkles tightened!! (HOLY Hanna, I rhymed and didn't even try to!!) Hubby is dreaming of Scott and his cool hoodie and Amber is having a 60's flashback! She is at PEACE man! Other than an occasional moment of shut eye, we took it all in and had a great time!

What's With That Name?

I'm not sure what you make of this but I'm thinking this person (not sure if verbyl is a guy or girl) had parents who were not very fond of them! You seriously can't tell me that people don't do this kind of crazy stuff without thinking it through can you? I ran across this website of funny names and it reminded me of my middle school days. Now I know you are saying to yourself "She can't remember her middle school days! She can't even remember what happened last week!!" Yes, it's true. . I have a fading (very fading) memory but there are some crazy things I just happen to keep tucked in there somewhere. No, it's not the useful stuff that would really make one seem intelligent, nor is it the important stuff that would make getting through one's day easier. It's the completely useless and most often times crude stuff that sticks in MY memory. Anyway, back to those middle school days. I hung around with a group of girls and unfortunately, we all had normal names. (our parents must have really liked us!) So we got bored one day and in our young teen minds we thought we should make up names for ourselves. These would be our code names that we would address each other with. For some reason we got a kick out of saying poop and fart it seems because most of the names contained something of the sort. I only remember a few names (see my memory has failed me a bit here!) My name was Elegosnee Fartsaker, I had a friend Genevieve Gapoopanblow, and don't forget good ole Granilda Gruntanfart (another friend).

I remember having a birthday party and my Grandma Hill sitting in a chair in front of us and we had to line up and each one of us tell her our name. I swear I have never heard anyone laugh so hard in all my life! She was in tears with laughter!

I do the same thing when I see a funny name. And don't try to tell me that you don't do laugh !! I remember working at a physical therapy clinic and one of the patients was Harry Balls. As hard as I tried, I couldn't wipe the smurk off my face when I would hear his name called into the waiting room to have him come back. I was doing good with just a grin when I really wanted to just laugh out loud! There were times I would simply have to duck under my desk and pretend to retrieve something to avoid loud laughter, finger pointing and funny faces at the poor guy! Do these people have any self esteem? I'm just wondering! Oh well, Carry On!

I'M BACK AND I STILL HAVE IT!!

Oh yeah! I'm back from Vegas and although I ate a large horse while there, I have tested myself to see if I still have it. I may have put on a good (bad) 30 pounds from all that food but I can still do the jump splits!! Yeah, no kidding!. . . No, I'm really not! You clearly haven't forgotten that I test this out frequently have you? Don't you remember when I tried to impress the young women on activity night by doing the splits while 5 months pregnant? Yes I did get down and they were flat but getting up was a completely different story and I had to have an arm load of girls hoist my large butt up! Wasn't that impressive?? Then there was the time that I was showing off with family the day before going to Disneyland. . . . Let's just say, I got down and back up but the walking situation the next day was something to be desired!! (and there is a slight bit of walking in places like Disneyland!!) YIKES!!

But seriously (like I'm ever serious) you all know that I have grown up a bit from those days and didn't really attempt the splits and certainly NOT in front of a crowd (like in the picture). Alright already, I haven't grown up a darn bit from those days but I also didn't want people to think I was a circus act down in Vegas. There are enough freaky things down there without me showing off!! And don't worry. . . I didn't really gain THIS much weight and I will upload a few pics of the adventures and maybe a story or two later. . . just hold your darn horses already!! (or I may have to eat them too! I'm on a roll. . .or was that, I gained a roll. . or two. . or three).