Sunday, March 30, 2008

I Remember When. .

I ran across this picture on the web and it brought back memories. I have felt much like this girl at times in my life. You see, I am vertically challenged. . with a surplus! (OK, I'm tall!) I'm not like a giant or anything but I am above average in height. (5 ft 8 1/2 inches ). I was a member of the drill team in high school and we would stand in a line much like this picture. But the difference was that there were five tall girls right in the middle of that line. We were the center of every formation and we called ourselves the fabulous five. (my height was 5 ft. 10 inches with my sexy white drill team boots-don't laugh, it was the 80's!) I will admit that being tall has its advantages and here are some I've observed: I was never called a midget (Like my sister Ang). I can gain 10 pounds and it's not as noticeable because it can spread over more area. I can reach things that some of my counterparts cannot. My feet don't dangle when sitting but can rest nicely on the floor.
Now here are the disadvantages I have observed: I have been called an amazon (thanks Dad). I have a hard time finding pants that are long enough (and stay long enough with washings/drying). I have monkey arms and big feet that make it difficult to shop, since all the cute things are in "petite". I have to be careful what shoes I wear so that I don't tower above all the men around me and the dating scene was difficult. (Yes, I'm beyond that now!) But there were many guys that were just too short to date. I remember my Dad asking me if I had to stand in the ditch to kiss my dates. Don't worry Dad, I don't have a complex or anything!

But with everything in life, it always looks greener on the other side and we tend to want what we don't have. I know that short people have their share of likes and dislikes about their size also. So, where are you on the scale of short and tall and what are your observations?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

And You Think We Have It Bad. . .

It appears that Canada might get taxed a bit more than we do. Not by too much though:(
But using this form would make my job a LOT easier for the next few weeks, during tax crunch!
Here's to hoping that you have yours done and that you are getting a LOAD of money refunded:)
(Well one can hope can't they?)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Forget A 5th Grader, I'm Not Smarter Than A Preschooler!

He looks innocent I know but the chocolate smear on his face should tell you otherwise! (and yes, I'm talking about the child:)

I'm not sure if I'm getting dumber with age or if kids are just getting too smart for their own good REALLY young! My son Bud (Ty-Ty) is only five but never seems to amaze me with the stuff he comes up with. Most of it is how he can try to pursuade me that he needs something or doesn't want to do something. This is just the latest sample of what I am talking about:

Me- "Bud you need to clean the bathroom today before the Easter Bunny comes tonight."

Bud- "Why should I? The Easter Bunny doesn't use our bathroom"

Me- "I don't care if he uses it or not, I still want it cleaned!"

Bud- "Cuz if he used the bathroom, we would all hear the toilet flush and wake up!"

Me- "Bud, get the bathroom cleaned"

Bud- "I don't even think that bunny has a pee thing!" (sorry, that was rated PG-13)


That ends my conversation with him as I can see that I am getting no where!

Later that evening this conversation starts:

Me- "Bud, clean up your toys in the living room"

Bud- "Does the dog have to clean up his toys?"

Me- "Bud, the dog can't clean up his toys! Besides that, the Easter Bunny is bringing you

presents & chocolate and not the dog and if he sees all your toys out here, he might not

leave anything for you."

Bud- "Doesn't the dog get presents & chocolate?"

Me- "NO, he's a dog"

Bud- "Well, if he picks up his stuff I will give him all the dumb toys the Easter Bunny brings

to me!"


Again I leave with no comment to add to his crazy conversation!

I have got to find that "Handling Preschoolers For Dummies" book! I think that it could really prepare me for situations like this. You would think that having three children previous to Bud that I would be prepared and used to this but I think this is where my Alzheimers is kicking in.

For some reason my memory has me thinking that my other three were complete angels at this age. . . Just another day in the life of Diana I suppose. .Sigh!

Monday, March 24, 2008

To Shave Or Not To Shave?. . That Is The Question.

My husband and I have had an ongoing battle over him shaving his facial hair. Personally I prefer a man with a nicely shaved face and even more if I have to kiss that face! There is just something very attractive and clean looking when a man has a shaved face. It's not only the looks that make me like "hairless" better. I tend to break out in a rash when I brush against his scruffy face. Seriously, I have only seen his face without hair just a handful of times in our 20 years of marriage. He has told me that he feels very insecure without facial hair because it somehow makes him appear as if he has a double chin. . . I think I'll show him this Easter self portrait so that he can see that it's his double chin that is making him look like he has a double chin. Hair or no hair, the chin is there! LOL! Check it out. I rhymed! :) I don't know, maybe I'm the weird one. Do you prefer your man scruffy or with a clean shave?

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thank Goodness He Was Protected!

This morning my sleepy 5 year old Bud (aka Ty-Ty) came wandering in my room after waking up. In one hand he had his blanket and in the other he was holding deodorant.

Me - "Good morning bud! Why are you carrying deodorant?"

Bud - "Dad gave it to me!"

Me - "He did huh? Did he give it to you last night?"

Bud- "Yep he did! Do you want some?"

Me - "Nah, I've got my own. Did you sleep with that?"

Bud - "I did. . .I'm supposed to use it when my underarms get wet & stinky. . should I put some on now? I think I'm getting stinky. . Wanna smell? (lifting his underarm).

Me - "Mom doesn't want to smell. . but you can go ahead and put some on!"

Bud - "OK. The dog kind of stinks, should I put some on him too?"

Mom- "No, the dog is hairy & doesn't need deodorant."

Bud - "But Dad is hairy and he uses it?"

Mom - "Well dogs don't !"

As this conversation was going on, I was trying to think back to the night before and I remembered that Bud came into the room shirtless and as hubby went to pick him up I heard
him say "Yuck! That's sick! Your underarms are all wet!" and Bud proudly replied "Yep they are!. . I licked them!" I guess my hubby decided it was time to have the "deodorant conversation" with his son. I am just wishing that he hadn't given him the Right Guard Extreme Energy!
He requires NO help in the energy department! I'm the one that needs that stuff!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Fun Times Had By Most At The Floral!

Skipper, Bud & Cleatus sporting their sexy floral mache hats!

Owning a family floral shop has proven to be quite the challenge when it comes to keeping kids entertained. I know they look harmless but believe me, they aren't always!! My sisters and I have pretty much raised several of our kids in the business & they have learned to be creative as they play. Sometimes they are sporting green mache containers for hats & pretending to be "apricons" (aka leprechauns). At other times they are creating masterpiece arrangements from the clipped stems & dead flowers & then convincing us to put them out on the shelf to sell (and boy our husbands are proud that their sons are arranging flowers- NOT!). Most often the kids take the scraps, leaves and cut stems then add water & stir to make a delicious stew! (which we have to pretend to sample). Fortunately, MOST of their play is harmless and they don't always go home bleeding or with extra bumps and bruises. On occasion some glass containers get in the way of their play and we find glass shards for weeks. It's a real bummer when my son Bud is the only child at the shop. The day becomes very long as he begins his routine question of "Is it time to go home yet?" at promptly 9:05 a.m. (5 minutes after our arrival) and it continues to be asked approximately every 5 minutes until the work day is over! I often wonder how we ever get anything done, but we do. We have managed this "kid" routine since we opened the doors for business 13 years ago and we wouldn't know any different. We like to call it our floral nursery. . . nursery. A lot of flowers. A lot of kid play.

Friday, March 14, 2008


Colton showing off his cute school outfit!!

Jase & Colton Stewart on first day of school 2007/2008


For additional info. see Amber's blog.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Then Delirium Sets In

After more than a week of pretty much living in the ICU waiting room, it has become apparent that we are feeling the effects of it all. You know how silly you can become late at night or on vacation? Well we have had our own delirious moments that break up the anxious and sad ones. This picture only proves it.

My brother in-law shows off his new spectacles while making a spectacle of himself! I haven't done anything that my posterity will see in pictures . . .yet. But I do catch myself repeating weird things over and over and over. Yeah, it started with "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck. . . " and then chuck would remind me of "Chuck chuck bo buck. . . " I would end it there because my Mom gets so ticked when I start that! I do it just to get a rise from her. Thinking of my Mom would cause me to say "Frig" which is what she uttered in a moment of her own delirium once. Then I would chuckle and that reminds me of the whole "wood chuck" thing again and the whole crazy thing starts over!! I'm not sure who is more unstable, my nephew in ICU or all of us who are in waiting in that room?? It may just be a toss up.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

It's Just One Crazy Week. . Is It Over Yet?

After spending pretty much every day since Sunday in the hospital ICU waiting room, I realized tonight that I didn't know what day it was. I also didn't know any of the latest news. I haven't accomplished much at home, nor have I cooked a meal. WOW! Where have I been?

I have been with my sister and family as we wait and watch and pray for her son Colton (15 years old). He is very sick with Pneumonia, Sepsis and ARDS. He is in an extremely fragile state and so our life is pretty much on hold so that we can be near him as he fights for his life. Every prayer we can get in his behalf will help!

In the meantime, enjoy some funny hospital humor courtesy of Keeping Apace.


SAY WHAT?Actual notes from Hospital charts

*The patient refused autopsy.
*The patient has no previous history of suicides.
*Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
*She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
*On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
*The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
*The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
*Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
*Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

*Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
*She is numb from her toes down.
*While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
*The skin was moist and dry.
*Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
*Patient was alert and unresponsive.
*She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
*I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
*Skin: somewhat pale but present.
*Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Summer Is Coming! I Can Feel It!

OK, what possesses some people?? I mean, come on! What made this senior citizen all of the sudden decide that it was Speedo time? He obviously hadn't had been wearing shorts for a long time before his "next to nothing" debut! And did he NOT have a wife that told him he looked like a personal freak show? Not only should men NEVER wear those, they certainly shouldn't if they look like the two men in this picture! Makes me throw up a little in my mouth! Ickie!! OH, don't forget the hot babe in the bikini. I'm sure she is the wife of potbellied papa and of course she approves of his look. . . she is equally GROSS! (But I'm sure she thinks he is a hunk!)

I'm telling you all right now. I have noticed that as I have aged, I have cared a little less about how I look in public. Even to the point of not having all of my make-up on etc. when I run to the store. I have been seen there in sweats or with my hair not done. But if I EVER appear anywhere you are, and I'm looking something like this. . . just shoot me right then and there! I must have some serious mental condition beyond being helped! PLUS, I want to spare as many eyes as I can from such horror. Thanks! You're a pal! Phew. . I feel a bit better now!

I have to tell you that we had some really beautiful days last week and it allowed me to think (for a moment) that Summer might actually come at some point. Yeah, we hit the balmy low 60s on Friday and I was aching for a barbecue. I wanted one so bad that even though it was FREEZING butt cold today, and there was snow all over, I convinced my hubby to throw on the burgers for lunch. Yeah, I even went so far as to make a pasta salad and get out the baked beans! My kids asked me if we were going to the pond or something for a picnic. Uh. . .I may be a moron with my Winter BBQ but I'm not a complete idiot! (OK, I am. . but they don't know that YET!) Anyway, the food tasted so good, actually GREAT! (much better than Frosted Flakes) I am hoping for a LOT more days just like we had a few days ago. I might just be able to get over these Winter time blues!