Sunday, June 29, 2008

Amusement Park Amusement.

We all (my side of the family, including my cute parent's) went to an Amusement park on Saturday. I'm pretty sure a good time was had by all.

I sure hope my face didn't look like this.

I'm pretty sure it DID look like this !!

And that was just on the kiddie rides!

Ty-Ty's face looked a lot like this. . .actually, that is really him in this picture. He loved those crazy horses running around in circles on this ride.

In other News:

I've been tagged by Busty Larue and being the lamo that I am, I can't think of anything fun that you want to know about me. I am supposed to come up with SEVEN things ! *Sigh! What's a girl to do? Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm leaving this up to you! What do you want to know about me? It's your chance to find out. Leave me a question in your comments and I will answer them. . . or not. . depends on if I want to or not. Sound fair? Now, I sure hope that I have SEVEN blog friends/family/lurkers/anyone. . Bueller? I hate to have to beg here so I won't. . . yet. But don't think I won't do it. I will if you bring me to it! So get asking!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Weird Word Wednesday

In my quest to increase my limited vocabulary, I've decided to start "Weird Word Wednesday". Isn't it great when you can throw out some big obscure word that most people don't know? You can tell by the look on their faces that they are lost and confused but most likely they will NOT ask you to explain it. I love to get that look! Heaven knows I've given that look to enough people. Let's just say, I like to use and overuse the basic, simple, everyday words and mainly because THOSE are the words I know! Anyway, here's the word of the week:

Absquatulate (sounds like it's spelled - Ab-squat-u-late)

What I thought it might mean: The fancy way that women hoover over a public toilet seat. "While absquatulating, my foot slipped and I peed on my shoe".

This word actually means: To make off, decamp or abscond

A correct sentence would be: While in the bathroom, the lady in the next stall reached under and absquatulated with my toilet paper! That dirty witch!

Let's all see if we can use it in 10 conversations this week!

p.s. This is a real word and was started in the 1930s, along with many other wacky words. Most of those words are no longer in American Dictionaries but this one is still found in some. Your welcome in advance!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Sappy Sentimental Sunday

Mine was a romance meeting that others only dream of. I never thought that I would meet the love of my life this way but it happened. It was a usual day for me. I was 17 years old and looking forward to my approaching high school graduation. Along with school and the various things associated with that, I was working at the retail powerhouse at that time.

I was feeling pretty powerful after being promoted from Register Operator, who found myself repeating "TYFSOK" over and over as customers came through my line, to Register Supervisor, who kept those twits in line and reminded them to say "TYFSOK" (Thank You For Shopping Our Kmart- for those less fortunate who have NOT had the opportunity to work at Kmart).

Little did I know that this particular night would prove to be different. There I was, being all cool and stuff and then I received a call from the Receiving Manager. He was a goofy kind of guy with a bad perm and side burns. He wore geeky shirts from the 70s it seemed and was a bit odd in my opinion. He asked me if we were busy up front and I told him we were not. He then asked me if I could send some help back to him. He needed some people to mark merchandise and unload boxes. His final words to me were "I would prefer if you sent some good looking girls back here. . . some blonde ones!". Was I hearing him correctly? When it all finally registered, I hung up on him! How could he insult me like that? I had now added JERK to the list of things I had previously thought of him. I was (am) a brunette and I was NOT going to let that blonde bozo tell me that I was NOT good looking because I had dark hair!

Let's just say this relationship WASN'T love at first sight and we didn't exchange any nice words to each other until that fateful night when I didn't have a ride home from work. He offered to take me home and so I went but ONLY because I was desperate to get home! We talked on the way home and although I still thought he was goofy and weird, he was also pretty darn funny. I remember arriving home, getting out of his truck quickly and telling my parent's that a goofy guy from work brought me home.

Little by little, his rides home from work became more frequent and his calls to me increased. This time it wasn't for the cute blondes but to see how I was or if I could go out. He was funny and charming and would do anything in the world for me. I loved that we were so different from each other but we appreciated those differences. We ended up dating for two years (while working at Kmart) before getting engaged. Let's just say my husband Bob (nope, not his real name) was my Blue Light Special! And I mean that in a good way!

Who ever said you can't find anything good at Kmart? Not me for sure. . . No "Kmart Fall apart" here!

Don't ever say that I don't ever give you anything completely romantic and sappy. This is as romantic as my life gets! Enjoy it already dang it! I'm not a writer. I know that shocks you:)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

So You Think You Can Dance?

Well obviously I do. Something crazy goes off inside of me on Wednesday nights as I find myself in a trance. I become completely glued to the TV and stuck to the couch for a two hour period, only to be freed during commercial breaks. And do you know what I'm watching? Well of course you do! I said it in the title silly!

The show fascinates me, it intrigues me and it causes me to all of the sudden become the judge and the dancer all in one. I can always do the dance better in my head and no matter what, I have the best opinion of how the dance actually came off by the dancers. I figure I'm qualified for the title of judge AND dancer. Just a few short years ago. . . OK! I'll quit lying if you quit snickering! It's been maybe more than a few years ago. Maybe it was in excess of 20? Well, lets say it seems like yesterday when I was on the high school Drill Team and in the Advanced Dance Club. I spent a good portion of my day with Jazz hands. After high school, I was on the local college dance team. And for those of you that are REALLY old like me, I was able to learn some technique from "Fame" dancers in California. I know! I'm so cool that you are glad you know me now huh!. . . . . or not. . . don't say in your little youngster voice "But I don't know who the Fame dancers are!" You probably don't remember "Solid Gold" either I'm taking it? Well GOOGLE it already will you?

So I'm figuring all this dancing qualifies me doesn't it? Let's just say, it's not easy to sit with me while the show is on because I'm pointing out everything I like and don't like. And then let's just say that when a commercial comes on my body starts convulsing in some crazy dance moves. Oh, just ask my family. . . OK don't! But I spent years and years boring them and embarrassing them with my impromptu dance moves when certain songs came on. No where and nobody was safe! Unfortunately, now my children are now subject to this wild dancing that comes out on Wednesday nights. I had just finished watching last weeks dancing with my 12 year old son when I decided to go get my hubby and go for a walk. So I got up and started walking to the front door. For some crazy reason, I had the sudden urge to do a great big leap right then and there. I took a couple of running steps and thrust my right leg out. I could picture it in my head and it was beautiful! I had my arms outstretched and my toes pointed and in perfect split position.I was floating! While I was picturing this in my head ,I touched down from my leap. But instead of coming down softly and on the ball of my foot, I came down flat footed in a BIG THUD !! I swear the house shook a little. My body shook a LOT. I stopped and looked back at my now horrified son and after a short pause he said "Well that was weird!". . . . I'm guessing he wasn't impressed. No "Hot Tamale Train" for me this week!

It looks like I will need a few more practices before I can try-out for the show it seems. Wish me luck!

Monday, June 16, 2008

We Interrupt This Blog For Some Breaking News.

LOOK WHAT I GOT! Oh yeah, it's all for me baby! What? You can't seem to figure out why I got this because I put you to sleep? Well, I did and I got it from none other than queen Lola herself. And who knows you better than your own sister?? Nobody I say!

Thanks Lola for saying I make you laugh, when you could have given me the "You make me vomit" award or the "You are a pain in my rump" award or many others. And like you said when you awarded me this, I am not funny in person if I'm funny on my blog. And when I'm funny in person, I can't be funny on the blog. I do this for a reason. You see, I have to pace myself. It's just not good to have too much funny in your life. Yeah, it's true! There are just not enough undies in my stash to keep laughing at myself 24/7. Oh really, I do find myself completely funny and I just have to let it out in drips, or drops or dribbles or droplets. None of this "Here I am being a complete cartoon for you all to enjoy" gushing out all day and night. You would take it for granted and so you get all the other sides of me to enjoy too. . . or not. You choose.

I was told ONCE that I should have been a comedian. I know you find it odd that somebody in the field of Accounting could EVER be THAT funny. Well, I guess you would have to consider the source that suggested such craziness. He was an auditor. You get what I'm saying? Go figure! I think I'll stick to random funny and bean counting.

Thanks Lola! I hope that a hundred dollars was enough?

Anyway, I need to pass this award on and here are some folks I find completely amusing!

Jill from Thou shalt Not Whine keeps me in stitches with all the things her kids say and do! It just reminds me so much of when my kids were little. Awww, sweet memories. . wait, I still have kids at home! What am I thinking?

Alice at Honey Pie is a real character and it is only recently that I have been hooked on her blog. We met through a sexy sox exchange and boy does she know how to pick great sox! I get a kick out of how and what she writes on her blog! (plus, we have some things in common:)

And finally Rowena's Rantings is a great blog. I look forward to checking out her blog and find that she is very entertaining! She also has an adorable new baby, which I would steal from her if I knew where to find her. (Just teasing, I'm not a stalker like that but he is very cute:)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Alzheimers And Outbursts

So you may remember my last post. . .I'm glad you do because I have forgot it already. Let me see, oh yeah! I had an apparent and unidentifiable outburst when my road rage reared it's ugly head the other day. That outburst involved me calling the other driver "Dickweed" as my hubby carried on a phone conversation with a leader in our Church Ward. It wasn't until I read the comments from that post that the source of such a "D" outburst from my mouth came to light.

You see, it was probably only a week earlier that my sister Angel had told me about a funny experience she had happen. She is in charge of having activities for pre-teen girls from church. In this group there are a couple of sisters, who's parents are quite religious. One of the girls blurted out her sorrow to Angel over the loss of Angel's son Colton. The other sister gave the loud mouth a quick nasty kick under the table and a glare indicating that they weren't supposed to say anything! After a moment of awkwardness, the girls suggested to Angel that they knew just how she felt. They had ALSO suffered a loss. They continued with "Yeah, our Grandma's cat Dickweed died and we had to lay him to rest too!" This revelation didn't stop with saying the beloved cat's name just once and they managed to say Dickweed over and over as they discussed Grandma's cat. Never once did they change the expression to indicate they thought the name was funny, vulgar, crude, silly or anything else.

Angel imagines the girls parents would probably FREAK at the thought of the conversation that ensued if they only knew. And way to go granny for pushing the envelope and corrupting the youth without them even knowing! As for me? Yeah, my Alzheimer's had apparently already taken over and I had forgot the funny story but somehow in my head retained that great word! I have selective Alzheimer's and I keep the good stuff stored up there somewhere for a moment like that! Yep, I can rattle off a bunch of funny stories about bodily functions and other useless crap like that. (no pun intended:) Ask me anything with substance and I have to plead the fifth. . . only because I can't come up with a darn thing. I may just get frustrated and call you some crazy name. . . only to then question where THAT came from and start this whole crazy process over again! *Sigh!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I Need Some Physical & Mental Conditioning!

Do you ever have one of those days where you've completely lost it? I mean, you are still able to function but when you do it's sub par? As I sit and look over the events of the last several hours I have come to the conclusion that I need some work! I know that I'm getting old and all and that my physical strength is most likely going a bit but does my mental/emotional state have to go to?

It all started with a trip to the store. Kitty and I decided that we needed to run to Walmart to pick up a few things. I was in need of cleaning supplies and such (because I LOVE to clean. . . nope there was NO sarcasm in that either:) and Kitty was looking for a baby present for a co-worker. I realized when we were there that our BIG dog Rocky was almost out of dog food. And although that is something my hubby usually picked up, I would save him the trip, since I was there. Getting the 50 pound bag of Ol' Roy in the bottom of the cart was a bit of a challenge, but we managed. Getting the 50 pound bag OUT from the bottom of the cart and into the back of our van proved to be a LOT more challenging. There we were, the two of us. The wind was blowing wildly and we had to hang on to the cart as we pulled the bag out. It required the two of us to bend clear down to grasp it which caused Kitty's pants to slide down a bit in the back and thus exposing crack for all to see. With her announcement of her backside being exposed, along with the wind and the shear heaviness of the bag, I began to laugh loudly and uncontrollably. I got laughing so hard we couldn't get the bag in the Van. This only made me laugh harder and to the point that I thought I would wet myself. Oh, have you ever tried to lift something in that condition? You have? You haven't?. . . .You liar! We all have. . . haven't we? Anyway, we FINALLY got Ol' Roy in and were able to go on our way. I was grateful that innocent bystanders were only exposed to Kitty's crack and not me wetting myself. Fortunately our hair had blown over our faces and so they didn't know who we were!

Skip ahead a few hours and me and hubby were coming home from the Pharmacy. He was on the phone talking to a leader from our Church as he was driving. Now I am not normally one to have road rage and he is more likely to say something or do something but he was on the phone. Well a stupid driver cut us off and then completely stopped his car in front of us, with his left blinker on, and didn't move into the turn lane. I couldn't just do NOTHING could I?. . . OH, I could? Well I didn't. I leaned over my hubby and pressed my hand firmly on the horn. As I was doing this I loudly yelled "Move out of the way Dickweed!" Sorry for your sensitive ears but I really said that. I didn't realize what I had done until I looked over and saw my hubby looking at me in horror as he continued to carry on his phone conversation. At that point I started laughing like crazy. So hard I started gasping for air! He finished his conversation like nothing had happened and I continued to go mad with loud laughter in the background. I am not sure if the guy heard what went on and my hubby wasn't about to ask him. I am sure the hubby will eventually find out what the innocent Church friend heard. He will probably go on to tell him that I am always yelling out like that and what he heard was actually mild. Yeah Right!

Needless to say I am sitting here thinking that I need to work on a few things. . . OK, a LOT of things but who's counting. . besides me. . . and probably you. Don't worry! I'll get to them. But first I need to go see if I can get that dog food OUT of the Van now and then go kick the dog or something.

P.S. don't ask me where that D word came from. Hubby and I tried to analyze that on the way home afterwards and all we could come up with was that I confused it with Dillweed. You buying? It's the best I could do.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Out Of Africa. . . .

These two cute people came home to us! HURRAY!!

Sorry about the quality of this picture but the camera isn't good with moving objects and it seems that Dad hasn't stopped moving since arriving home. Hubby clicked this picture at the
airport as we mauled them when they got down the escalator.

Here is Mom and she likes to have her picture taken. The day they arrived home (at 12:05 a.m.) we came to their house and spent the entire day as a family. I think that Mom was attempting to duck out and have a moment of peace in the laundry room when this pic was snapped. Sorry Mom, you are stuck with us. . . following you!

The men cooked a big breakfast for us all and it was great! Here is Dad again and he's a blur because once again he is moving. Does the man ever stop you ask? I haven't seen it yet! I'll keep you posted when he does:)

Mom is showing off another darling dress she had made for her in Africa. Although it looks like she is alone, the lawn was actually packed with people for their return party today. It was quite the fun shindig and finally a great day to enjoy the outdoors:)

And here we are all giddy with joy. We're Just a small sampling of those who were anxious for their safe arrival back home to us! Me and Bob (hubby) are wearing really cool African attire they brought back. Kitty was also sporting her African dress at church but managed to sneak away after and quickly change, while the party was going on. I thought this was a picture of just me and Bob until I loaded the pics onto the computer and low and behold, there was Kitty. . . Darn kid! I'm sure my parent's NEVER said that about me;)

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I Got Hot Sox And I Cannot Lie. You Other Swappers Can't Deny. . .

Uh, that's all I've got for my fab SOX song but I have to tell you I HIT THE SOX JACKPOT! No kidding. I really got the mother load with this sweet package of goodies from Alice! If any of you had previously read Alice's blog, she mentioned some really awesome sox she was trying to score from Ebay. .Well, she did and I have them. You will have to hold your horses though because they will be the grand finale after all the other sweet sox I'm wearing are viewed. Oh yeah, I did my own modeling so don't mock the legs or cankles as Alice would say. I'm white and have old lady legs. What more can I say? I'm just glad I have some great sox to distract you from them:)First we have these knockout sox that come clear to my knee and hide all calf (cankle) flaws. They are adorned with pink and white stripes and fancy Sea Horses down the side. Ahhhh aren't they great?
The next sox are equally as fancy & fun and yet completely different. They sport a mid-calf look and have pink polka dots and frogs. I love how my fat legs make the frogs spread out even bigger! Pretty cool huh?

And when you are looking for comfort with a little bit of Donny Osmond Flare, don't forget these beauties. They are SO SOFT and black with a Oh so fancy purple fuzzy trim along the top. Oh, sox like these make me purrrrrrr. Next we have some more knee high sexy sox. I know! I told you I got a LOT of great sox! These are a fancy hot pink (which is one of my favorite colors) with a little light pink for extra coolness. I thought I would attempt to point my toes to see if it slimmed my leg any. . . Nope! Those dancer legs are gone forever I'm afraid! Anyway, you may just see me at church with some of these fancy sox with my dress. Don't you think it would be styling?


STAR WARS SOCK TOPS!! Aren't they completely and ridiculously the coolest things?
I swear I'm gonna REALLY go running now. I just needed the Star Wars Sox Tops to get me
going!! I'm thinking these were for a kid because I REALLY couldn't get them up any higher and I REALLY distorted the whole Star Wars scene with my legs. Sorry! I included the sock not on my leg for your better viewing pleasure. . . your welcome. I'm just sorry you have had to be subjected to my leg for so long. BUT it was totally worth it right for these sox?

Thanks again Alice! You are the best! And thank you Elasticwaistbandlady for putting this fun swap all together! You are the best too. . . in my world there are TWO bests OK? Let's just go with it.

THE END!! Oh yeah, my parent's are almost in the good ole U.S.A as I
type and I can finally reveal (because they won't see this) that we have done a make-over on their house!! They will be so surprised! I can't wait to see them and so for now I say CHOW and I will get back to working on house surprises. . . only a few hours left:D