I Need Some Physical & Mental Conditioning!

Do you ever have one of those days where you've completely lost it? I mean, you are still able to function but when you do it's sub par? As I sit and look over the events of the last several hours I have come to the conclusion that I need some work! I know that I'm getting old and all and that my physical strength is most likely going a bit but does my mental/emotional state have to go to?

It all started with a trip to the store. Kitty and I decided that we needed to run to Walmart to pick up a few things. I was in need of cleaning supplies and such (because I LOVE to clean. . . nope there was NO sarcasm in that either:) and Kitty was looking for a baby present for a co-worker. I realized when we were there that our BIG dog Rocky was almost out of dog food. And although that is something my hubby usually picked up, I would save him the trip, since I was there. Getting the 50 pound bag of Ol' Roy in the bottom of the cart was a bit of a challenge, but we managed. Getting the 50 pound bag OUT from the bottom of the cart and into the back of our van proved to be a LOT more challenging. There we were, the two of us. The wind was blowing wildly and we had to hang on to the cart as we pulled the bag out. It required the two of us to bend clear down to grasp it which caused Kitty's pants to slide down a bit in the back and thus exposing crack for all to see. With her announcement of her backside being exposed, along with the wind and the shear heaviness of the bag, I began to laugh loudly and uncontrollably. I got laughing so hard we couldn't get the bag in the Van. This only made me laugh harder and to the point that I thought I would wet myself. Oh, have you ever tried to lift something in that condition? You have? You haven't?. . . .You liar! We all have. . . haven't we? Anyway, we FINALLY got Ol' Roy in and were able to go on our way. I was grateful that innocent bystanders were only exposed to Kitty's crack and not me wetting myself. Fortunately our hair had blown over our faces and so they didn't know who we were!

Skip ahead a few hours and me and hubby were coming home from the Pharmacy. He was on the phone talking to a leader from our Church as he was driving. Now I am not normally one to have road rage and he is more likely to say something or do something but he was on the phone. Well a stupid driver cut us off and then completely stopped his car in front of us, with his left blinker on, and didn't move into the turn lane. I couldn't just do NOTHING could I?. . . OH, I could? Well I didn't. I leaned over my hubby and pressed my hand firmly on the horn. As I was doing this I loudly yelled "Move out of the way Dickweed!" Sorry for your sensitive ears but I really said that. I didn't realize what I had done until I looked over and saw my hubby looking at me in horror as he continued to carry on his phone conversation. At that point I started laughing like crazy. So hard I started gasping for air! He finished his conversation like nothing had happened and I continued to go mad with loud laughter in the background. I am not sure if the guy heard what went on and my hubby wasn't about to ask him. I am sure the hubby will eventually find out what the innocent Church friend heard. He will probably go on to tell him that I am always yelling out like that and what he heard was actually mild. Yeah Right!

Needless to say I am sitting here thinking that I need to work on a few things. . . OK, a LOT of things but who's counting. . besides me. . . and probably you. Don't worry! I'll get to them. But first I need to go see if I can get that dog food OUT of the Van now and then go kick the dog or something.

P.S. don't ask me where that D word came from. Hubby and I tried to analyze that on the way home afterwards and all we could come up with was that I confused it with Dillweed. You buying? It's the best I could do.