I thought I was strong.
I thought I could withstand it.
I had been so good.
Deep down I knew I wanted it.
I just wasn't sure how to get it.
What did I want you ask?
I wanted to be satisfied.
I wanted to be REALLY satisfied!
I kept the urge hidden.
I hoped that it was a passing thing.
I tried to keep my mind occupied.
Why would I need it now?
I was used to not being satisfied.
Where was my willpower?
Don't fail me now.
I may not forgive myself for this if I do it.
I might feel like a failure if I indulge.
I could look at myself differently for needing it.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!
I just did it! And YES I'm satisfied.......
And a little sick.
It was in my purse and was left over from treats I had taken to my Sunday School Class. (YES I bribe them to like me. Is there anything wrong with that??) Unfortunately, all the kids were not there and that left the lone chocolate bar of yummy goodness in there all alone. I agonized, I fretted and for a while (during the other meeting) I actually forgot about it. And then I came home. It was just me and that beauty alone in my room. I wanted to be satisfied and it taunted me. I ripped open the package and took just a small bite. Much like a fun size bite. Oh, it was fun and it ALMOST satisfied but not quite. I decided to double the fun and eat just a bit more. OHHHH, I haven't had anything so delightful in a long time. (Or maybe just a few weeks since the diet began but it seems like FOREVER:) By the time I realized just how much I was indulging in having "Fun" I only had a bite left of the ENTIRE bar. Knowing that I wanted to be completely satisfied I quickly popped the bite in my mouth. Oh yeah, it was so good. . . . Um, a little rich. . . . I was kind of feeling a little sick. Can one really be over satisfied??
I think I was. . . . as my punishment, I went to bed without dinner. That ought to teach me a lesson next time. Don't take yummy treats to Sunday School. Only yucky things that I HATE can be fed to my class. (that limits it greatly:)