Sunday, October 12, 2008

Because It's The Law That's Why!

Where in the world have I been my whole existence in Utah? Obviously I've been completely oblivious to many of the laws here. It's just a good thing that I found out sooner than later or I might have found myself locked up in the slammer!! Here are some of the Utah laws that I just ran onto and boy am I glad I did!!

It is against the law to fish from horseback.
(I'm not getting the problem there)

It is illegal not to drink milk.
(I think I may have a child who breaks the law daily)

It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
(note to self- don't detonate that nuclear weapon on your "to do" list)

Birds have the right of way on all highways.
(I have broke this law and have the proof on my Van's grill to prove it. . . don't tell!)

A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
(Oh, the trouble I could get that man in!. . ."Honey, can you come to the bank with me?")

You’re not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.
(more than 3 what? That is one vague law)

It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway.
(And if one does do they break their mother's back?)

It’s legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
(it should be illegal to sell whine with your meal. Now THAT bugs me)

It is considered an offense to hunt whales.
(WHEW! I am so glad I found that out! I was headed to the lake to whale hunt tomorrow!)

No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
(Oh, please! Did they really have to make that a law because it was a frequent practice?)

Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency.
(We would hate for anyone to be intoxicated and therefore NOT traumatized by the emergency)

Individuals may not possess beer in containers larger than two liters unless they are a retailer.
(So I'm taking it those high school "Keggers" weren't legal-and NO I didn't ever attend them)

Boxing matches that allow biting are not allowed.
(Awww! they like to take out all the fun stuff)

It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.
(Well DUH!)


Busty LaRue said...

So you're telling me that even if it is the end of the world, I still can't be intoxicated?! How rude! Don't you think that the end of the world would be a lot more pleasant if everyone was totally wasted? We'd be laughing hysterically at everything instead of panicking.

Sabii Wabii said...

Could you forward to my home the signed video of "Sex with our graduates" by Sahra Palin look alike before your fan club takes up all your time please.

Kathi D said...

Oh geeze, I can't cause a catastrophe in Utah? I guess I had better stay put in California then. Dang it.

dana wyzard said...

In my town it is illegal to drive without wearing a shirt. NOW I know why all those truckers keep looking down into my car!

In Blog-land My Name is Lola.... said...

Dang it about the No sex in emergency vehicles!! That was on my list of things to do!

Jean Knee said...

that no whaling one really blew my mind.

Lizard said...

Oh people and their silly rules. :) The no catastrophe one really got me. Who gets to say what qualifies as a catastrophe? Cuz to me, not getting my peachy-o fix can lead to a pretty big ol' darn catastrophe. So am I an outlaw when I go to Utah? Hmmmm... maybe I should rethink my vacation plans?


Utah: The Land Of Lactose-Intolerant Intolerants!

Jen said...

My children should be arrested because my house is a catastrophe daily.

Nancy Face said...

This was seriously funny! :D