In An Attempt To Kill Me

So here we are on family vacation and for some reason the word "VACATION" for me = EAT EVERYTHING in sight because you are taking a vacation from watching what you eat. (OK, don't laugh. I at least TRY to watch what I eat at home. . . on occasion or probably not.) Well, today I came out to the kitchen in our condo to find these on the counter top.

They were in a nice little package that indicated on the label that they were Wasabi Peas. Knowing that they were: A) in the kitchen B) in an open package C) Peas=nutritious, I decided to inquire about them. My brother Mike was busy making home made pizzas and insisted that they were really good and that I should try them. Now what would you have done? Well, I did what I always do when presented food or even when food is within a 10 mile radius. I decided to try it! Let me just say that going into this I had NO clue what Wasabi was. Yeah, I guess you could say I fell off the turnip truck yesterday but I really didn't know! I quickly popped one in my mouth and chewed and immediately opened my now burning and insulted mouth and headed quickly for the garbage to spit! Oh, you know that the family was getting a good laugh out of this!

"Who buys this crap?" I asked. I should have even known better than to ask. My Dad bought it and it just serves me right for even questioning it. The first taste that so rudely intruded on and offended my taste buds was the flavor of horseradish. I can honestly say I HATE that flavor! Apparently I should have asked what Wasabi was BEFORE trying it, at which point I would have been informed that it was a type of Japanese Horseradish. YUCK! Memories of my childhood came flooding back to me at that very moment. All two of them that I remember (so it was more like a trickle than a flood). It's a sad deal when you have Alzheimer's! Anywho, I remember my Dad eating horseradish with about EVERYTHING edible and probably things that weren't edible. We would all shriek in disgust. He would fool us by having us turn to look at something or pass something while at the table and he would take a bit of horseradish and put it in our potatoes. He would then sit back and wait for that moment when we would bite into it and run gagging (sometimes gagging AND crying) to the sink and then he would laugh! Let's just say that I have never and WILL NEVER be a fan of horseradish. (I am not into eating horse:) Even though I have greatly expanded my menu from what I ate as a child, horseradish will never be a part of my grown-up menu. YUCK!

So if you didn't know what Wasabi was, here is your warning. If you did know, then you can laugh at me and wonder what rock I crawled out from under. If you are a wasabi or horseradish lover I can only say- Your taste really sucks! I won't fall for that trick again!. . . or will I? I'm kind of scared with my lack of memory these days.

OH, and by the way, it didn't ruin my appetite for lunch or dinner. I didn't skip a beat with the food thing:) Yum, Yum!

The Moment You've Been Waiting For (And Giveaway)

Sorry to put you through such torment and force you wait for such a long time. I know you have been clasping your hands together, holding your breath and squealing in anticipation. I do hope you are OK and that I didn't prevent you from getting on with life. The thought of you being unfocused and unable to perform would be too much. I just have some big news and it's not something I could just throw out there unplanned, unorganized and unexciting. Things like this just take some time. And quite frankly, I'm a bit of a computer tard and so it took me LONGER than anyone else to figure out some stuff. But I did it eventually. So without further ado I now present to you . . . . . .

Diana's 100th Post !!! (cue big band)

So in celebration of me getting to 100 even with my A.D.D. -OH, not Attention Deficit Disorder. I was referring to my ability to ADD. ( I'm an accountant and we can't be writing and counting at the same time.) But anyway, to celebrate this great occasion I am going to torture you with some pictures. . . OF ME! And if you are good and you don't laugh too hard (only with me & not at me) I could possibly have a surprise at the end of the post.



This is a rare picture(one of the two pictures on the planet) of me as a baby. Here I am with my hot Mom holding me. I must have been a really ugly baby to explain the absence of more pictures. Don't worry Mom & Dad, I'm not scarred for life:)

Alright, maybe I fibbed a little and there are actually three pictures of me as a baby. The funny thing is that when I do a Fohawk, I still look exactly like this with chubby cheeks and all.
Here are me and my sister Angel. We are flower girls at my cousin's wedding. Boy did we love our pigtails!
Oh, don't make me dig this picture back out to see what grade this was. I am thinking it was 5th. OH PLEASE! Don't tell me that you thought I was serious? This is more like 1st grade people! And YES, my hair was always misbehaving. . . still is!

Can you say Big 80's hair? This is me graduating from high school. Yeah, I insisted on pictures for proof later on. I know I'm hot in my white gown and white socks and quite possibly white shoes? I can't tell but I wouldn't doubt it with my great 80's taste!

I know you have all had the wild urge to call me "Princess Di". You have haven't you? Well, go right ahead! I was in royalty once and was a princess. So it completely works! If you are unable to pick me out from this picture, look for the one with the BIGGEST hair and that would be me. (Or with a pink dress/white sash)

The happy couple starring Bob and I on our wedding day. We were married in the Salt Lake Temple 21 years ago!. . . is that all? It seems like FOREVER already! hee hee! Check out the dress and tux. We are completely decked out in the 80s wedding fashion and we looked dang good. . .or so we thought. We can now look back and wonder "What were we thinking?" (P.S- the dress & veil were made by my Mother with my assistance on beads).

Here I go again with pictures of graduation for proof. NO this is not my high school graduation silly! This would be the day I graduated from Utah State University with a Bachelors degree in Accounting. And I SURVIVED with three kids! I'm just cool like that I guess;)

And last but not least, we have my four kiddos sitting out in the weeds. That's what we do for punishment. You see, they have allergies and so it really is a bad deal to be sent out to the weed patch. They were all bad this day and we have evidence! From left we have: Ty-Ty, Al-Pal, Kitty and Jakeman. Sure they are looking all innocent now but you have no idea what they have been up to. Bob & I couldn't be in the picture because of the black eyes we sustained.

And once again, I may have been fibbing a bit for story sake but it sounded good eh? (No, I'm not from Canada-I don't know where that came from). I want you to come up with what kind of mischief these hoodlums were up to prior to this picture being snapped. Leave me a comment and because it's a CELEBRATION and I like to be a kind and giving person, I will have Ty-Ty randomly pick his nose. . . er, a number from his sand pail to pick a winner of my give-away. You can enter twice if you like because I'm nice like that and I get all giddy when I see comments greater than 10! NO, it doesn't take much to get me going folks. But now is the opportunity to double your chances if you like! (Comments will be closed to contest on Monday 7/14 at 9 p.m. Mountain standard time)

What is it that I'm giving away? I'm glad you asked! You may or may not know that I am part owner of a Floral/Boutique. I will be sending one lucky winner a gift bag of boutique items with a value of $100.00.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting & I wish you all good luck! (Then you can leave your congratulatory presents at the door and leave. . just kidding!)

Alzheimers And Outbursts

So you may remember my last post. . .I'm glad you do because I have forgot it already. Let me see, oh yeah! I had an apparent and unidentifiable outburst when my road rage reared it's ugly head the other day. That outburst involved me calling the other driver "Dickweed" as my hubby carried on a phone conversation with a leader in our Church Ward. It wasn't until I read the comments from that post that the source of such a "D" outburst from my mouth came to light.

You see, it was probably only a week earlier that my sister Angel had told me about a funny experience she had happen. She is in charge of having activities for pre-teen girls from church. In this group there are a couple of sisters, who's parents are quite religious. One of the girls blurted out her sorrow to Angel over the loss of Angel's son Colton. The other sister gave the loud mouth a quick nasty kick under the table and a glare indicating that they weren't supposed to say anything! After a moment of awkwardness, the girls suggested to Angel that they knew just how she felt. They had ALSO suffered a loss. They continued with "Yeah, our Grandma's cat Dickweed died and we had to lay him to rest too!" This revelation didn't stop with saying the beloved cat's name just once and they managed to say Dickweed over and over as they discussed Grandma's cat. Never once did they change the expression to indicate they thought the name was funny, vulgar, crude, silly or anything else.

Angel imagines the girls parents would probably FREAK at the thought of the conversation that ensued if they only knew. And way to go granny for pushing the envelope and corrupting the youth without them even knowing! As for me? Yeah, my Alzheimer's had apparently already taken over and I had forgot the funny story but somehow in my head retained that great word! I have selective Alzheimer's and I keep the good stuff stored up there somewhere for a moment like that! Yep, I can rattle off a bunch of funny stories about bodily functions and other useless crap like that. (no pun intended:) Ask me anything with substance and I have to plead the fifth. . . only because I can't come up with a darn thing. I may just get frustrated and call you some crazy name. . . only to then question where THAT came from and start this whole crazy process over again! *Sigh!

Houston, We Have a Problem ! WAAAAAAHH !!

This has nothing to do with Houston. . .not even Texas at all! And it's not that WE have a problem. The problem is clearly mine! I guess I said that because it just sounded familiar!! So. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . Does the above picture look wrong to you?? Well HELLO!!. . . I have man hands!! They are bigger than my husbands!! No kidding! Oh wait. . . that wasn't the story. . .
Let's just say that tonight has NOT been my best night ever! It started when I decided to go grocery shopping! Yeah, that would have been enough to ruin my night but it didn't end there. I decided to actually look through the fridge and pantry to see what we did and didn't have instead of my usual approach of just random shopping. Did I mention I hate it? Oh *sigh* well I still do! Anyway, I pulled out the crisper drawer in the fridge to check out the inventory of veggies and I guess I don't know my own strength and I whipped that drawer out and onto the floor. Unfortunately in the process it caught my left hand as it went down. I immediately looked at my ring finger, which took the bulk of the hit and there was my diamondless ring around my finger!! "HOLY CRAP!" I yelled loudly and then a terrible vision flashed quickly through my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my puppy running quickly towards me (and the spilled drawer of food). I could just picture him eating my diamond up like it was a crumb and then me digging through his poo for the next week trying to retrieve it!! I frantically yelled for my son to grab the dog and I started filling my hand around the floor and in the bottom of the crisper drawer. THERE IT WAS!! I'm just glad I didn't have to really eat those vegetables to find it!! Oh, it was my lucky (unlucky) day!! I sadly stated to my husband "OHHHH, Now I'm going to have to go without it until I can get it to a jeweler!" my five year old son interrupted with "No mom, why don't you just get the hot glue gun and put it back together. That's how you fix everything else!" Uh, I just don't see that working this time! What do you think??