In An Attempt To Kill Me

So here we are on family vacation and for some reason the word "VACATION" for me = EAT EVERYTHING in sight because you are taking a vacation from watching what you eat. (OK, don't laugh. I at least TRY to watch what I eat at home. . . on occasion or probably not.) Well, today I came out to the kitchen in our condo to find these on the counter top.

They were in a nice little package that indicated on the label that they were Wasabi Peas. Knowing that they were: A) in the kitchen B) in an open package C) Peas=nutritious, I decided to inquire about them. My brother Mike was busy making home made pizzas and insisted that they were really good and that I should try them. Now what would you have done? Well, I did what I always do when presented food or even when food is within a 10 mile radius. I decided to try it! Let me just say that going into this I had NO clue what Wasabi was. Yeah, I guess you could say I fell off the turnip truck yesterday but I really didn't know! I quickly popped one in my mouth and chewed and immediately opened my now burning and insulted mouth and headed quickly for the garbage to spit! Oh, you know that the family was getting a good laugh out of this!

"Who buys this crap?" I asked. I should have even known better than to ask. My Dad bought it and it just serves me right for even questioning it. The first taste that so rudely intruded on and offended my taste buds was the flavor of horseradish. I can honestly say I HATE that flavor! Apparently I should have asked what Wasabi was BEFORE trying it, at which point I would have been informed that it was a type of Japanese Horseradish. YUCK! Memories of my childhood came flooding back to me at that very moment. All two of them that I remember (so it was more like a trickle than a flood). It's a sad deal when you have Alzheimer's! Anywho, I remember my Dad eating horseradish with about EVERYTHING edible and probably things that weren't edible. We would all shriek in disgust. He would fool us by having us turn to look at something or pass something while at the table and he would take a bit of horseradish and put it in our potatoes. He would then sit back and wait for that moment when we would bite into it and run gagging (sometimes gagging AND crying) to the sink and then he would laugh! Let's just say that I have never and WILL NEVER be a fan of horseradish. (I am not into eating horse:) Even though I have greatly expanded my menu from what I ate as a child, horseradish will never be a part of my grown-up menu. YUCK!

So if you didn't know what Wasabi was, here is your warning. If you did know, then you can laugh at me and wonder what rock I crawled out from under. If you are a wasabi or horseradish lover I can only say- Your taste really sucks! I won't fall for that trick again!. . . or will I? I'm kind of scared with my lack of memory these days.

OH, and by the way, it didn't ruin my appetite for lunch or dinner. I didn't skip a beat with the food thing:) Yum, Yum!

A Questionable Lunch Date?? I Question That.

After a few weeks hiatus from restaurants and such due to illness, I was able to convince my hubby to take me to lunch yesterday. I was craving Mexican food and so we headed off to our favorite, local family restaurant. I don't know if it was because it of the time of day we were there, but things were a bit different. We had a waitress come take our order and she was one we were familiar with from previous visits. I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal and she quickly and apologetically informed me that they were out of diet products. (had I known that I would have gone to the second favorite place!! ) I told her that I would just have water then. Seeing that she had already brought out a pitcher of water, I poured myself a glass as I munched on chips and salsa. Just then, she brought me out a large glass of ice water with a lime in it. I thanked her and quickly pushed my other drink to the side. She noticed that our chips were a bit low and offered to bring us more. My husband was about ready to dip his chip in salsa when she abruptly yanked it out from under him and told him she would be out with more. He was bugged! But he gets bugged easily. I on the other hand chuckled! When she brought out more, she asked "How is your water ma'am?" I was a bit taken back by the question. How was it supposed to be?? Like water?? Yep! It sure was! I don't know but I have never rated my water! Nor have I returned it for being too cold, too hot or something else unpleasant or unusual. I told her it was GREAT! Hubby and I had another good chuckle. She returned with our food and then had only walked away for about 3 seconds when she came over and asked "How is your food sir?" He hadn't even taken a bite but told her it was great! He was REALLY bugged at this point and I reminded him that she is trying REALLY hard to be a good waitress and therefore get a good tip! I would be over the top too if it meant more money!! (I can act for a price!!)

Like in most Mexican restaurants around here, there are Spanish speaking people working there. (sometimes NOT!) Anyway, those working there that day were all Spanish speaking and it was one of those times I desperately wished I spoke the language. They were standing only a few feet from us and were speaking very fast and with an angry tone it seemed. I was trying to figure out if these were family members all working this shift together. They would speak and the oldest one would loudly say "SSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" This continued on over and over and she would SSHHHHHHH them again, with a stern look on her face. I wondered what they were saying? Hubby and I were creating our own monologue and it was funny at times and yet a bit scary at other times! We pictured them saying something like "Those fools think we fed them beef but it was really dog!!" and then the oldest trying to quiet them! Or my husband thought our waitress was saying "Hee Hee, I totally spit in her water!! And she said it's great!" It all kind of freaked me out at the thought! I don't know what was really being said but it has motivated me to learn some Spanish (more than what I learned on Sesame Street) so that the next time I go, I am not completely in the dark! Fortunately, whatever they MAY have put in our food wasn't deadly because I am here today to write about it! No food poisoning at all!! Yipee!! (Sorry! the pic is of a Chinese Restaurant but it seemed so appropriate!)

Oh Yes! Sweet Pies!

Sometimes the payoff for having a floral can be soooooooo sweet! We have an older lady who makes us pies this time each year in exchange for colored foil. She just happens to makes the best pies ever known to man! (and better yet. . woman!) Gosh, I think we should just have people bring us food instead of cash for our products! Sure would make me happy!! (and fat) I have a feeling it wouldn't go over so well in the long run would it!??

I'M BACK AND I STILL HAVE IT!!

Oh yeah! I'm back from Vegas and although I ate a large horse while there, I have tested myself to see if I still have it. I may have put on a good (bad) 30 pounds from all that food but I can still do the jump splits!! Yeah, no kidding!. . . No, I'm really not! You clearly haven't forgotten that I test this out frequently have you? Don't you remember when I tried to impress the young women on activity night by doing the splits while 5 months pregnant? Yes I did get down and they were flat but getting up was a completely different story and I had to have an arm load of girls hoist my large butt up! Wasn't that impressive?? Then there was the time that I was showing off with family the day before going to Disneyland. . . . Let's just say, I got down and back up but the walking situation the next day was something to be desired!! (and there is a slight bit of walking in places like Disneyland!!) YIKES!!

But seriously (like I'm ever serious) you all know that I have grown up a bit from those days and didn't really attempt the splits and certainly NOT in front of a crowd (like in the picture). Alright already, I haven't grown up a darn bit from those days but I also didn't want people to think I was a circus act down in Vegas. There are enough freaky things down there without me showing off!! And don't worry. . . I didn't really gain THIS much weight and I will upload a few pics of the adventures and maybe a story or two later. . . just hold your darn horses already!! (or I may have to eat them too! I'm on a roll. . .or was that, I gained a roll. . or two. . or three).