Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ahhh Sweet Memories!

So tonight as I was working on Indexing Massachusetts death records from 1912 (something I do for our church), I thought about what it might have been like to have lived back then. Of course thinking about way back then also caused my mind to go waaaaaaaaaay back to the 80s. No, not the 1880s either but the AWESOME 1980s of which I can happily say I was a part of! What a really fun time of life! I was all cool and stuff!! (In my own mind anyway so stop laughing!) Here are some 80s memories that made me so cool.

JOURNEY!! Who doesn't love Journey?. . .OK, shut up! They were/Are cool! I fell in love with Journey because my first boyfriend loved journey. Isn't that reason enough? Let's just say I still have Journey (tapes) around but I can't say the same for my first boyfriend.

I like totally didn't want to be lame or like a hoser and spaz out and stuff! Only dweebs and dipsticks that thought they were too cool for Izod could barf me out! Hey! Check out how many 80s slang words I used in those two sentences!! I still find myself spitting out one of those words every once and a while. Oh the looks I get! I will never forget my sexy pink Izod shirt that was a staple in my wardrobe.

A really large chunk of my day was spent in my many layers of leg warmers and exercise wear. I was addicted to dance and unfortunately, everyone else had to suffer through my "Flash Dance" era. I was hot!. . . and sweaty and sometimes stinky too:)

And last but certainly NOT least of my 80's memories (I will spare you the 9 million others for right now:) is my very first car! Yes it was an amazing green Volkswagen Bug! I think it was from the late 1960s and boy was that evident. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing that can come between me and my first car but there are some memories with that baby that I'm glad are distant memories. Winter was always a real treat! Those cars were obviously NOT made for cold weather and I would spend my drives scraping my windows on the inside from the frost that would form as I drove. Also, if you have ever been in one of these sweet hotties you will know that the heater is under the seat. YES your feet get warm, then toasty and then BURNING HOT and you can barely keep your feet on the pedals to drive!! In the meantime, the top portion of the car is freezing and thus causing the routine of scraping the window with one hand and driving with the other. Ahhhh sweet memories! Gotta love em!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Ahhhh Thanksgiving!

I love Thanksgiving. The talk of all the food we will be baking this week and then consuming in one very big meal, on one very festive day, is causing me to gain weight at just the thought! I seriously need to diet just to prepare for the over consumption! It wasn't until recently that I would actually eat Turkey after many years on hiatus. The rest of the food wasn't safe from my trap though! But that story is for another day. . . maybe tomorrow! So for your Pre-Thanksgiving pleasure, I bring you the obvious signs that you OVERDID it on Thanksgiving.

* You spilled more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.

* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

* Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian.

* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 14' boat!The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.

* You get grass stains on your butt after a walk, but never sat down.

* Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist.

* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

* You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

* You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000."

* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

* Your spouse wears a life jacket at night in your water bed.

* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

* You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

* It looks like the left-overs are going last until Christmas

Thursday, November 13, 2008

You Don't Have To Be A Kid. . .

You don't have to be a kid to look forward to and enjoy a trip to Disneyland. Some things just never change and I am so looking forward to going to with a group of adults from work on Monday. We can act like CHILDREN!! Woo Whoo!! (I always love a good excuse to act my shoe size:) Hotel beds are never safe when I'm around & have no kids with me!...Oh come on people! I'm talking about jumping on them!

I have learned (the hard way) that some things are much more enjoyable (and don't forget easier) when you are a kid. Take for example the hula hoop. Did you try this as a child? I did and I had that baby mastered. I could spend hours with that hoop circling around my waist. I was so cool that I could do tricks. You know, those amazing ones where you can make it go up your neck and circle around your hand that is raised above your head. And then back down again. And then down your legs to your ankles. I know, it's hard to believe the talent that oozed out of me but I did it. It was many years later and I was married with children (hey, that is kind of catchy like it should be a sitcom or something:) that I decided to show off my great skills in front of a group. I grabbed the hula hoop from a snot nosed kid trying to be all tricky and stuff and I stepped inside. What the?????

They have OBVIOUSLY started making these things smaller because DANG there wasn't much room for that baby to circle around me! I worked that stupid hoop for a good 10 minutes before I decided that my body mass was taking up to much of the circle, thus making it virtually impossible to keep it moving. Sigh!

As I child, I was very limber. I could do a back bend without a second thought. It all just came natural and I spent many days tumbling around. I took gymnastics for a while. The memory that has stuck with me to this day was when we were lined up and being assisted in back bends by our instructor. The girl in front of me hadn't mastered a back bend before so the instructor was supporting her. As the girl arched her back, she let out a grunt noise and then farted! OH, boy! The things that will crack up a five year old!! We were unable to do much after that due to laughter (and pointing and mocking).
I also didn't have a problem as a child doing cart wheels. It was like walking! I would cart wheel my way across the lawn. I could run fast and go right into a cart wheel. I was so tricky I could even do it ONE handed! WOW I was cool. Fast forward about 20+ years and a few kids (and many pounds gained). I wanted to show my kids that I their awesome and amazing mother could still do all those tricks. Oh yeah! No mocking this chick! She still has it. . . . or not. As they scooped me off the ground, because my poor arms collapsed from the large amount of weight trying to pass over them, I realized THIS was not going to be so easy! Not only were my scrawny arms trying to hold up some serious weight, all of the sudden it seemed soooo scary!! I was MUCH farther off the ground than I was so long ago. Sigh!

And then there were those days when I could bend myself in half.
Oh not like that picture!! I was talking about bending over to pick something off the floor. . . .
fortunately I can still do that!

Monday, November 10, 2008

It's Been One Of Those.

Sure would like to be/feel like her. Unfortunately, I feel a LOT more like her.

I'm thinking it's time to resort to this.

I blame it on the husband and kids. I think they have all plotted against me to see at what point Mom's head will actually start spinning and then she will magically and colorfully explode. So far the build up to this great spectacular event has not been pretty. I keep hoping they will give up on their plan and go back to being helpful and nice. So far no luck. I will keep you posted. That is unless I reach the point of explosion and then there will be Diana parts & particles in my computer keyboard making it virtually impossible to type. Ewwwww! Yucky!

Monday, November 3, 2008

You Know It's Time To Diet When. . .

You've polished off all the left over Halloween candy (plus your kids collection) and it's only a few days after. . . and you are looking for more.

You are heading into the real weight gaining holidays and you are already squeezing into your "Big" size in your closet. (Oh come on! Don't we all have more than one size of clothing in our closets? I have three different sizes and would be completely happy if I was in the smallest size. . . just doesn't seem to be the case:(

You get winded, sweaty and tired from stamping an angel on some tags. (which only requires the movement of your hand) And people laugh at you and mock you because you are worn out. For real! I actually got tired and was sweating it up!

Your fat hurts. (which means my whole body aches right now:)

And you look at your Summer pictures and they look something like this:

And NO you are not one of the four girls on the right! Time to put down that Ding Dong and get on those running shoes for me! I'll catch you later!